A MAN WITH ONE ARM

There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and a lot of things that took two arms. One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide.

He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn't have any arms at all. He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.

He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms. The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again.

He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway? "

He said, "I'm NOT happy; my ass itches."

...what?

That's great!

Confucious say "man with one arm should buy shoes with no laces."

And man without leg should avoid ass-kicking contests.

MACS -

I always heard Confucious says man who goes to sleep with itchy arse (a pirate confucious) wakes up with smelly finger

I speak from experience. I severed the tendons in my left index finger back in 1993. Had surgery to repair the tendons and was in a cast that rendered my left hand useless...

First time I put shoes on I realized I couldn't tie them with one hand.