The life of a dog:

8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!

6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

The life of a cat:

Day 283 of My Captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...

I love it.

I see this cat with a pen in his hand writing that diary while smoking a camel and holding the cigarette between his lips as he squints to keep the smoke out of his eyes.........

Thom-

dude-

did this come out of your head? i can't stop laughing. well, at first i couldn't, then my cat came up and sat on my lap. i am going to send this to everyone I know (crediting you, of course!)-

nine

Cats are stupid

Ok...Dont get me wrong. I have nothing against cats. I have owned several as well as dogs (ok, Im more of a dog person), and I have come to the conclusion that well....

Cats are stupid...

maybe BD but they make great target practice.

LOL @ DB and BD

nine999 -- I did not make up this cats and dogs thing. It was sent to me via e-mail and that was forwarded several time before it got to me. But thanks anyway.

(should be BD & BD)

DOGS are stupid... and needy too.

Ever seen a cat chase a car? Or its own tail?

If you fail to feed a cat, it will go out and catch it's own food.

Cats will eat what they require and finish the rest later... dogs will continue eating until the food is gone...

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I like cats.

I like dogs too, but they're too much of a pain in the ass.

Is it just me or does it appear that human’s share a lot of traits with dogs?

LOL

Charlie

BW I think you are on to something. A dog is man's best friend.

My kids have a rock box - like a sand box only with pea gravel. Friggin farmer's cats USED to **** in it. Then I bought a nice air rifle. Have not seen a cat in my yard for quite some time.

See BD... cats ARE smart. They got the hint. You'd have to kill a dog to get him to quit coming back.

ummm.