usahog
  • usahog
  • Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter
Saturday, August 13, 2005 6:57:00 AM
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they

made love, for the next 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. Over the next few minutes, he explained that his company had gone through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been

let go. It was unlikely that at the age of 55, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which

showed thirty years of deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then, she showed him stock certificates issued by the bank which were worth over $2,000,000, and informed him that they were the largest stockholders in the bank.

She explained that for 30 years, she had charged him for sex and these holdings were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3,000,000 her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

There will be no memorial service. The bullet-riddled body was cremated.

Enjoy!!

Hog

jackconrad
Saturday, August 13, 2005 7:11:00 AM
Hilarious!!!!
Wagner
Saturday, August 13, 2005 8:59:00 AM
Great joke Russ! What an unexpected ending!

Wags

Wagner
Saturday, August 13, 2005 9:00:00 AM
PS--good to see that things are well enough at home that you can get back to sharing some laughter!

Regards,

Wags

bloody spaniard
Saturday, August 13, 2005 12:58:00 PM
LOL!

Funny but obviously made up by a batchelor.

Any married man will tell you that the average accumulated savings over 30 years will be about $3,000- give or take a twenty.

Of course, there are always exceptions like bassdude's situation.

(c;

bloody spaniard
Saturday, August 13, 2005 12:59:00 PM
Make that "bachelor"-- aww fugit it...
bassdude
Monday, August 15, 2005 10:14:00 AM
situation?
lofty1
Monday, August 15, 2005 10:52:00 AM
you're a stud. everyone knows it.
bloody spaniard
Monday, August 15, 2005 11:25:00 AM
That's right, lofty!

He's already reminded me 2 or 3 times!

Bassdude hates it when people forget.

LOL!!!

bassdude
Monday, August 15, 2005 11:29:00 AM
Yo soy muy guapo y me gustaria ofrecer mi puro grande- GRATIS- a cual quiera!
bloody spaniard
Monday, August 15, 2005 12:39:00 PM
LMAO!!!!

(Never underestimate the dude!)

MACS
Monday, August 15, 2005 12:45:00 PM
MACS = lost in translation.
bloody spaniard
Monday, August 15, 2005 1:52:00 PM
Hey Rock, the handsome lad is offering you a free smoke.

Probably an Inmenso. LOL!!

hensed
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 8:27:00 AM
Actually a large smoke at that. 🙂
MACS
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 8:30:00 AM
Both a youse can kiss my butt. Not on ze left, not on ze right... but right in ze middle!
bassdude
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 10:43:00 AM
so if I quit saying Yo soy muy guapo y me gustaria ofrecer mi puro grande- GRATIS- a cual quiera!

I can be normal?

I'm just a gigolo and everywhere I go...

andytv
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 11:05:00 AM
Bassdude;

"I am very handsome and gustaria me to free offer my pure great one to as she wants!"

as translated by www.systransoft.com

bassdude
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 11:29:00 AM
close.
bloody spaniard
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 12:10:00 PM
"I am very handsome and gustaria me to free offer my pure great one to as she wants!"

as translated by www.systransoft.com

*This Systansoft sotware must have been developed by a Puerto Riqueño de Nueva York who only speaks "spanglish".

Kind of like aksin' Shaquille O'Neill to interpret Hamlet...

andytv
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 5:13:00 PM
I REALLY want to learn Spanish.........any suggestions as to a good method?