Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so

"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the

Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying

it as well.

BONUS QUESTION: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using

Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed)

or some variant.

One student wrote the following:

First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we

need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate

at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once

the soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore no souls are

leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different

religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state

that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not

belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to

Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number

of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now we look at the rate of

change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order

for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume in

Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two

possibilities :

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes

over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during

my freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep

with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last

night, then the number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is

exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of the theory is

that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any

more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only He aven, thereby

proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night,

Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God".

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"