usahog
  • usahog
  • Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 10:09:00 AM
To help you keep things is perspective.....

Are you having a bad day? Just remember it could be worse...

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

___________________________________________

Still think you're having a bad day?

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped with the stretcher and dumping the husband out.

He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

_____________________________________________

Still having a bad day? Just remember, it

could be worse...

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

_____________________________________________

Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his

Walkman.

Enjoy!!

Hog

John hay Cigars
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 10:19:00 AM
On Myth Busters ,just the other night, they proved that the first one was impossible. You can not suck a person up in a helicopter for forrest fires.
J.Redleg
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 10:24:00 AM
I saw it in a cartoon. It's got to be true!
00camper
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 10:26:00 AM
It was on CSI. It must be true.
Buckwheat
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 10:28:00 AM
Are you having a bad day? Just remember it could be worse... you could actually be gullible enough to believe that these events actually occurred.
John hay Cigars
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 10:32:00 AM
Sorry, just re-readt hat. You did say dip bucket.
donkeydunker
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 9:37:00 PM
yet another mythbusters fan! YAY!! Yeah a d-bucket sounds more plausible!

dd

GDColson
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 11:35:00 PM
Yeah, but if you remember that CSI episode, the guy was dead before he was put in the wetsuit by his partner, and it wasn't the dip bucket at all that put him in the tree, it was his oxygen tank that blew him up there.....sorry guys, this one's an urban legend.
Liz62803
Thursday, September 1, 2005 3:34:00 AM
don't really care if they are true or not, they are interesting LOL

Liz

Brando
Thursday, September 1, 2005 5:31:00 AM
Ever see "Magnolia?"
herfsnipe
Thursday, September 1, 2005 5:52:00 AM
Ever have a bad day...

This one is true. Absolutely true.

5:00 AM - I left my Kenosha apartment bright and early one morning to muster for an early personnel inspection at Great Lakes. As I was headng towards the base, I got on the Stutz expressway and got a speeding ticket. ticket.

6:30 AM - Stood personnel inspection. The inspector was 6'5" tall Senior Chief Boiler Technician.I took a hit on my cover. It wasn't stencilled. He could see right into the top. He hit a bunch of us. Assigned re-insepection on the upcoming Saturday. Nice huh?

8:00 AM - took a test and oral board for my pump class. Did well. Took a 15 minute break after the oral board and was outside near the BBQ pit behind the steam plant. I tossed a stone into the BBQ pit and was caught by a boot Ensign. Actually, he was a $hit head LDO. Just made Ensign. Assigned me EMI on Saturday. I told him I already had to return on that Saturday for re-enspection, he assigned it to me for the following Saturday.

9:00 AM - I learned to keep my mouth closed.

4:00 PM - Got to my car to return to Kenosha after school. I had hastily parked the car to get ready for the inspection. I had parked with my driver's side tires over the line a little. Base Parking Ticket on the windshield.

5:00 PM - I get to the apartment and my wife greets me at the door with the mail. It seems that the IRS has decided that I had neglected to report HER unemployment compensation on our joint return... FROM 2 YEARS EARLIER !! $ 800.00 in taxes and penalties.

5:15 PM - I tell my wife that I got a speeding ticket, a parking ticket, and will be spending the next 2 Saturdays on the base performing EMI because of the inspection and throwing a stone at the BBQ.

5:16 - Learned all over again to keep my mouth closed.

The story you've just read is true. No names were changed and no one was innocent.

John hay Cigars
Thursday, September 1, 2005 8:41:00 AM
Yep, thats a bad day.
J.Redleg
Thursday, September 1, 2005 9:29:00 AM
Yup, Herfsnipe, you win! Your day surely does suck!

Now hush your mouth before you get into more hot water.

Hoss
Thursday, September 1, 2005 2:27:00 PM
I suppose I should mention that that happened in October of 1984. I've since recovered.

Maybe....

Hoss
Thursday, September 1, 2005 2:28:00 PM
Maybe not...
Thom
Thursday, September 1, 2005 2:37:00 PM
Love the last one. I bet I look like that 🙂
Hoss
Thursday, September 1, 2005 2:39:00 PM
Ok, here goes. I stepped on a nail, it went right up through my sneaker. I had a softball game that night and I didn't think anything of it, because it came out clean and didn't bleed. It penetrated about 1 1/2 inches though and didn't hurt at first. By the time gametime came around it was getting a little sore but being the macho guy I am, I just went with it until about the 4th inning. I played left field and went for a fly ball and while running, this intense pain shot through my foot and lower leg. I didn't get to the ball, it dropped for a hit. I threw it in, and started walking off the field. I got to 3rd base and PASSED OUT.

Yessir, Mr. Macho. They were mopping my head with wet towels and when the ambulance came, they took off my shoe and sock. Not good. The infection was making a bee line somewhere.

The surgery went well. They plucked a 1/8th inch piece of rusty metal out of my foot and treated me for blood poisoning. I was laid up for 2 weeks and took convalescent leave. I got to watch alot of television.

John hay Cigars
Friday, September 2, 2005 7:24:00 AM
Thats sucks. Yep...another bad day winner.