johnfs
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Monday, September 5, 2005 9:17:00 AM
Bush: Vacation Ruined By 'Stupid Dead Soldier'

August 31, 2005 | Issue 41•35

CRAWFORD, TX—President Bush concluded his summer vacation by holding an informal press conference Monday to address grieving mother Cindy Sheehan, saying "her damn dead son ruined my whole summer vacation."

Bush addresses the press during his vacation.

Bush addressed Mrs. Sheehan, who was not present, by saying "a mother should not have to bury her son this way, by which I mean allowing her son's death to destroy his commander-in-chief's one chance to relax and unwind."

Sheehan, whose son Casey died in Iraq in April 2004, has led a vigil outside of Bush's Crawford ranch since early August, urging the immediate withdrawal of troops from Iraq and demanding a meeting with Bush.

"This is a terrible tragedy," Bush said. "If this dead soldier of a son had the ounce of sense he needed to keep his worthless ass alive, my last few weeks might have been peaceful. I mourn the loss of the beautiful August mornings, and the sweet afternoons that could have been spent on the porch swing listening to the songbirds. All Americans mourn this loss."

When asked why he has refused to meet with Mrs. Sheehan, Bush said, "Listen, I came here to relax. I want to fish, go biking with Lance Armstrong, play with my dogs, chainsaw some brush, and get back to nature. 'Course, it's hard to do that when you have to constantly listen to the mother of some dummy who didn't have sense enough to stay out of a damned war zone."

Bush added: "I'm more exhausted today than I was when I started this vacation."

Security concerns stemming from the presence of the anti-war protesters gathered around Sheenan's "Camp Casey" prevented Bush from making public appearances in Crawford, including ordering his annual cheeseburger at Goode Company Barbeque.

"I was really looking forward to that burger," Bush said. "And I could have had it too, if it wasn't for that soldier getting his stupid ass blown off."

"We're supposed to be over there showing the Iraqis how to get it done, not acting just as dumb as they are with all their stupid dying," Bush added. "I tell you, it feels like every other month since I started this job, somebody gets himself killed just to mess up my holiday."

When asked to address recent public suggestions, including Sheehan's, of immediate withdrawal from Iraq in light of mounting casualties, Bush said, "I don't want to think about that now. We can discuss that back in Washington. For now, let's relax and have a good time."

White House press secretary Scott McClellan said Bush's remarks reflect the administration's stance on casualties.

"I think what President Bush is saying is that, while we certainly owe a debt of gratitude to our fine men and women serving abroad, we don't want the real dumb ones who die to interrupt our precious downtime," McClellan said. "It is the president's opinion, and that of the entire administration, that the best way to honor the brave sacrifices of our fallen soldiers is by enjoying a relaxing vacation and not thinking about their deaths."

TrannyMk
Monday, September 5, 2005 9:42:00 AM
This is a long winded line of bull****.

Have a nice day.

billyjackson
Monday, September 5, 2005 9:43:00 AM
been herfin' with MAVEN?
JonR
Monday, September 5, 2005 9:55:00 AM
Do you know what political office sheehan is going to run for?

JonR

johnfs
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Monday, September 5, 2005 10:13:00 AM
Sheehan is running for office?
SirWolfgang
Monday, September 5, 2005 1:41:00 PM
"This is a long winded line of bull****."

http://www.theonion.com/ 

-Wolfy

Charlie
Monday, September 5, 2005 1:44:00 PM
It is a lot of bull**** from the Onion!

Charlie

RICKAMAVEN
Monday, September 5, 2005 1:53:00 PM
it's called satire.

if you can't laugh at bush, who can you laugh at.

Charlie
Monday, September 5, 2005 1:57:00 PM
Like on Saturday Nite Live, lots of chuckles!!!!!

Charlie

TrannyMk
Monday, September 5, 2005 2:43:00 PM
SirWolfgang

It could be my Mom saying it. It's still a line of bull****!

PS: That was just a figure of speach. My Mom is very intelligent.

johnfs
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Monday, September 5, 2005 3:37:00 PM
Ding ding ding... SirWolf gets it!

Geez some of you guys just can't take a JOKE! LOL

JonR
Monday, September 5, 2005 3:57:00 PM
Yo johnfs:

You should e-mail that to cindy sheehan I bet she would get a kick out of it.

JonR

rugrunner
Monday, September 5, 2005 4:48:00 PM
When asked if she was upset that Bush wouldn't meet with her, Sheehan said no and that it would have ruined her protest. But boy, does she miss her son!
adroomi
Tuesday, September 6, 2005 7:59:00 AM
John,

I like the article and it is pretty funny.....

However in the future, please mention at the start that it is satire. Believe it or not, there are some folks out there that will believe this to be true. No different than the BS that the Pro-Bush folks send out.....too many people believe too much BS. Personally I feel that GWB does in fact feel that way, but since it is satire, you should label it so.

Good stuff though.

adroomi
Tuesday, September 6, 2005 8:04:00 AM
Sheehan has done what she felt to be right in the name of her son......just who in the HELL do you think you are Rug to question her love for her son?

So she doesn't support your war or our lying President, and unlike you, she doesn't just sit behind a computer wasting her fat life away on some cigar forum, but rather does something to try to make a change. Good or bad, right or wrong, she has done more to make people THINK about this war than one could imagine. Look at Bush's ratings before Sheehan, and then look at them now........oh yes, people are thinking alright!

Don't you EVER accuse someone that doesn't agree with you of NOT loving their child. You should know better than that. I disagree with just about everything you say, but I have no doubt WHATSOEVER of the love you have for your kids!

johnfs
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Tuesday, September 6, 2005 8:32:00 AM
Adroomi, I left the link out, and the fact that it was satire on purpose. I just wanted to see how many replies it would get as some might think it was an actual leftwing report.

J

Lazygardner
Tuesday, September 6, 2005 9:04:00 AM
John,

there's another name, besides satire, for lobing a turd into a genteel gathering of BOTL. It's called "Rickmavening."

Bhaw, hah, hah.... ad infinitum.

johnfs
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Tuesday, September 6, 2005 9:08:00 AM
Name calling, what an honor!?
Lazygardner
Tuesday, September 6, 2005 10:22:00 AM
You weren't called a name, unless your name is "satire." Turd Lober would be name calling. Get over yourself.
johnfs
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Tuesday, September 6, 2005 11:20:00 AM
Lazy, I'm glad you got it off your chest. LOL