How old were you?

(And I'm not talking about you "cleaning you own rifle" or for our ladies "double clicking your mouse").

Risque' yes, but heck, its Saturday night.

Hmmmmmmm.............

Mr Hardcastle wrote a song about it in the 80's.

I'm still counting the days in anticipation....

OK..ok..I was 16ish...

TANK

P.S. some day I'll have to tell ya a funny story that took place at my wedding...

Fair enough. A dumb question requires a dumb answer, and I unfortunately have one. I was 14 and my dad tried to do me a favor. I don't know if he thought I was hopeless or was just trying to be nice. Our family owned a truck stop in east Texas. I worked hard for my dad helping maintain the restaurant, washing dishes, waiting tables etc. I complained to him that I never got time to go out with my friends on the weekends, that I always had to work, and that I was sick of it. One weekend I declared a strike. I wasn't going to wash dishes till 1:00 in the morning on Saturday night and then wake up 8:00 the next morning to go clean the vanilla extract bottles out of the men's room (it was a dry county). He said fine, I didn't have to work that weekend, and that additionally, he had hired a babysitter to watch my little step-brothers and sisters. After my dad and step-mom had left to work at the cafe that Saturday, a 16 year old red-head named Mary Lou Kelly showed up and asked if she was in the right place. God-all-mighty, she had a book-shelf rack and huge blue eyes, but I was 14 and just said "yes." I went up the block and told my friend Robert what was going on and his reaction was "this is your chance for some." I thought about it, and went back home and started being real nice to Mary Lou, overtly teasing and flattering her. She seemed taken back with my behavior and asked "if I'm here babysitting your little brothers and sisters, why are you hanging around?" Before I knew it these words flew out of my mouth, "to get some." I was immediately embarassed and her face turned red. I knew I was in trouble. In fact I had no place to go that night, so I watched TV and tried to think of a way to apologize to her. She stayed back in my parents room as far away as she could get from me. Later, when the little ones were asleep I resolved to be a man and apologize to her in earnest to try and put her at ease. I went to the back of the the house, where she was laying in my parents bed reading, and before I could spill out my humble excuse she smiled and asked me if I was ready "for somne?" I'd be lying if I said I wasn't floored. I said I was, and we went to my bed, stripped, I mounted her sweet smelling garden and my rocket discharged on the second stroke. I felt embarassed, and I think she was too. We got dressed and went to seperate rooms. It was not the most memorable moment of my life (I made up for it later, with compound interest). I did see Mary Lou at the movie house 6 months later and she tweaked my cheek and told me what a sweety I was. That made it a little better, but I wouldn't want to relive that night under the same results.

15. On the 4th of July 1983. On a beach in Clearwater, FL. watching the fireworks.

my wedding night 05/31/97...i was 22

and no, that's not sweet or noble

i regret not having courage in high school and college

and she is the only one i've been with...

damn, it's sad but true

Well Dr. Pepper. It sure does sound like you fully took advantage of my "dumb question" and the situation a few years back in East Texas.

I don't think the question is dumb. Certainly not for everyone's taste. Just a chance to think back to a time of relative innocence.

Although the way you wrote that makes me think you have sold a few articles to Penthouse Forum since the days of your youth.

;)

I was 15 years old ...

... and my very first time was with my high school sweetheart, who just so happened to be Dennis Weaver's (McCloud's) niece.

WOW ... for a second there I thought it read that your sweatheart was Dennis Weaver...lol

Then I read it more closely...

That was a relief, not that there would be anything wrong with that

TANK

8track, my refering to your question as dumb was a rhetorical set up for my sad sack tale of first love. It's not a dumb question, I just had to say that to introduce my true life story. And Slimboli, I don't know if I'd be advertising I slept with Dennis Weaver's neice, especially if she looked anything like Dennis Weaver.

(Laughing so hard at Tank & Dr. Pepper, that I'm crying).

Dammmmmn

17. No embarrasing stories about the first time, but many for times after that.

The best was when I flushed a condom down the toilet at my girlfreind's parents house. It clogged the toilet and nothing I did fixed the problem. Her mom called a plumber who proceeded to rooter the line.

He pulls the snake out and guess what is stuck to the end? Yup, said object was there, dangling for her mother, little brother, and the plumber to see.

Needless to say, we didn't get too much alone time after that.

jcwbnimble.

15 for the first.

A year or so later,with another young lady, I borrowed Dads station wagon for a Saturday night date. We often skipped going to a movie in favor of other "entertainment" and that night was no exception. It was a rainy windy night and when we were through I tossed my condom out the window.

The next morning my Grandmother needed a ride to the airport to return home from visiting us. As my father opened the car door for Grandma you can guess what was stuck to the door. He was pissed. Grandma thought it was funny as hell.

That was the same girl who, upon returning from a date with me,walked into her home to greet her parents before going to bed only to realize that getting dressed in the back of a dark station wagon she had put her top on inside out.

Dr Pepperhill ... I would have done his sister (her mother) if I had the opportunity. She was pretty hot herself.

It's funny though, now that those memories were brought to the surface ... I remember that on several occasions, my girlfriend thought that her mother was coming on to me ... LOL!

Dayum jcwbnimble ... that condome was bigger than a turd?

Uh ... 'big balls' in cowtown, eh?

Bob Baffert: Big Balls in Cowtown

"In the early '80s [the legendary racehorse trainer Bob Baffert and fellow trainer John Bassett] were having dinner one night with Reba McEntire, the country-and-western singer, whose father, like Bassett's, had been a rodeo roper. Baffert never followed C&W - he played the guitar and listened to the Eagles - and near the end of the meal he quietly asked Bassett, 'Has Reba got a big hit?'

'Yeah,' said Bassett. 'Reba's got a monster.'

'What's it called?'

Bassett leaned in his ear: 'It's called Big Balls in Cowtown.'

'Really?' said Bob.

'Yeah, ol' buddy, and it's been #1 on the country-and-western charts for three months.'

As they started to leave, Bob said, 'Reba, congratulations on that big hit you've had.'

'Which one do you like, Bob?' she asked.

'Why, Big Balls in Cowtown,' Baffert said.

McEntire looked startled. 'Pardon me?' she asked.

Baffert shot a glance at Bassett, who was heading for the door. 'Bassett, you sonuvabitch!'"

Actually, they were recorded by Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys

Written by Hoyle Nix

Aagghh! let the ladies split out wide

Grab your pardner - go hog wild. aagghh! now, now, now;

Chorus

big balls in cowtown

well all go down

big balls in cowtown

well dance a-round.

workin on the railroad

sleepin on the ground

Eatin saltine crackers

ten cents a pound.

Chorus

Put on your new shoes

Put on your gown

Take off them sack clothes

The big balls in town.

Chorus

Ill stay in cowtown

Ill stick around

Bolt up your window

The big balls in town.

Chorus

"it don't matter who's in austin, bob wills is still the king"

i must've been late 14 or 15 in high school.me and a friend had talked a couple of girls into "skipping" school that day and headed down to a spot by the river that we'd go to party . we were sort-of already paired off as couples and since the river was shallow enough not to have a stong current and after "partying" for a couple hours it got to be that we'd go skinnydipping. and since i was a shy kid in high school and eager to "see the view" so-to-speak and after swimming for awhile..splashing and grabing and poking it didn't take long to head off behind bushes to.....well.....you know. oh to be able to go back to that day once again !!!! i wasn't as shy after that!

Ralph, that was two great stories. Neither of you had much luck.