No, no, no... see? You'se got it all wrong. Me an' Jesus is boys, man. He died for my sins, dudes.
He understood that I was imperfect. I told you man, I wasn't trying to be blasphemous, I was merely making a point. The point being, if you turn the other cheek, expect to get punched in it.
Be prepared for war at all times, but do your best to avoid it. If it looks like you're about to get punched, punch first, ask questions later... your very life may depend on it.