saturn07
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 8:14:00 AM

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane, 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, 64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of moonshine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic on secondary roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle that has a muffler?

9. A coalmine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?

Dr Pepperhill
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 8:32:00 AM
Lol! Some of those were pretty damn funny.
dup
  • dup
  • Herf-A-Holic
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 9:02:00 AM
ouch....some of that hurt
herfsnipe
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 9:11:00 AM
Yep we're all ready for some "Redneck Engineering Exam" steryotypical humor. Like it hasn't already been said a thousand times on this board... We know all rednecks have...no teeth, and they marry their cousins, and they all live in trailers, and they all drive cars with no mufflers that end up on blocks in the yard next to the washing machines and refrigerators. Real funny. We get that. We just need to be reminded every once in a while.

By the way, you left one out...

How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?

I guess that wasn't as funny as the rest of them that's why it got pitched from the original.

Sincerely,

Mike in Raliegh.

http://www.lilligren.com/Redneck/redneck_engineering_exam.htm 

Dr Pepperhill
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 9:21:00 AM
As a certified redneck by birth, I vote to retain #6 & #9 as genuinely humerous, as most country and rap singers probably come from ive league colleges now days. It's all marketing anyway.
saturn07
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 9:32:00 AM
Man, it's just a joke. Didn't mean to offend you
dup
  • dup
  • Herf-A-Holic
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 10:05:00 AM
hehehe

hitting "close to home"

and down right hitting home is two different things!!

hehehe

and it depends on weather the dogs are under the front porch or the back porch at the time of the collaps.....or they could be out hunting.

no offense....it's all in fun

herfsnipe
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 10:07:00 AM
I'm not offended. I don't have time to be offended. Why, between taking my sister to the homecoming dance, getting out of my chair to change the channel and adjust the rabbit ears on my B&W portable TV, and feeding all those dogs under my porch, I generally don't get time to get offended by anything. I do however, need to cut this short. I need to drop by the unemployment office and pick up my check, then get to the Stop-N-Go to cash it and buy beer and cigarettes. Baby food can wait 'til next week.
dup
  • dup
  • Herf-A-Holic
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 10:07:00 AM
and #7 is "Yes"

Hoss
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 10:12:00 AM
Hey Bro, can you pick me up some ammo for my thirty nought six while you're at the Stop-N-Go? I'll give you part of that deer I picked up on Rt. 3.

Scooter

saturn07
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 10:18:00 AM
HErf, when you're out back next, maybe you could plunge the outhouse, it's a bit clogged up.
herfsnipe
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 10:31:00 AM
Just goes to show what you know... Yoiu don't plunge an outhouse. You dig a new hole and have scooter and Billy Ray bring their brothers over and help you move it.
saturn07
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 11:40:00 AM
You learn something new every day
dup
  • dup
  • Herf-A-Holic
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 11:54:00 AM
hehehe

plunge the outhouse!!

lmao!

grandpa's laughing in his grave over that one!

i can barely remember dad and grandpa having to dig a new one and using the fresh dirt to fill in the old one , and using the draft horse to pull the outhouse over to the new location!!

PHEW! the worst smell i had ever been exposed too!

5-6 yrs old

they "were" country! way out...no running water just from a spring fed well (good water !! ) oil lamps cause they didn't have power lines going to the house (they would have had to pay for it at that time ).

imagine a rustic two story farmhouse 5 draft horses chickens , pigs , a few cows for milking.....a garden.

totally self sufficient !! they were great!

but that outhouse memory.......it's burnt into my nose forever!! whoa!!!

Charlie
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 12:04:00 PM
For the record the correct spelling is O P O S S U M.

It is pronounced possumm

dup
  • dup
  • Herf-A-Holic
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 12:06:00 PM
careful!!!

you may have just failed the test!

Charlie
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 12:20:00 PM
Pi r square

Cornbread r round

Charlie

dup
  • dup
  • Herf-A-Holic
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 12:25:00 PM
nice save!
Drathaar
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 12:37:00 PM
Those are pretty damn funny :~)

And thank God for small towns producing some fine Country singers...Gods music.

dup
  • dup
  • Herf-A-Holic
Tuesday, November 1, 2005 3:10:00 PM
amen to that brother!!

i do love rock-n-roll.....but i do like country as well!

almost 50/50 for rock-n-country