Army Budget Office (3E341)

Contingency Operations Budget Officer

COMM: 703.692.6840

DSN: 222.6840

FAX: 703.614.2832

AP and UPI reported that in response to the rioting in Paris, the French

government today raised its terror alert level from 'RUN,' to 'HIDE,' on

their four-level danger scale. The two higher French danger levels are

'SURRENDER' and 'COLLABORATE.' The raised level was precipitated by a fire

yesterday, which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively

paralyzing their military, according to informed sources.

And in a related story...

President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a battle

plan to pull France's rear out of the fire again.

Facing an apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 irate teenagers, Mr. Bush

doubts France's ability to hold off the rebel insurgents.

"Heck, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France

to surrender any day now," Bush said.

Joint Chiefs head, Marine Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it

might be necessary to send up to 5 Marines to get things under control.

The general admitted that 5 Marines may be overkill, but he wanted to get

this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene. Pace stated

he was having a hard time finding even one Marine to help those ungrateful

bastards out for a third time but thought that he could persuade a few

female Marines to do the job before they went on pregnancy leave.

President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our Marines out of there as soon as

possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure

the Marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with them. The less they

stand out the better.

Mark