Cigarettes were invented by Christopher Columbus as a neat-o way to relax after exterminating the yucky and Godless native peoples of North America.

- America's first President, George Washington, grew cigarettes in the fields behind of his house "Mount Vernon." Liberal Communists point to "historical evidence" that he also grew other, now-illegal plants that people on food stamps like to smoke. People who say that are liars and deserve to die.

- Boys who start smoking well before puberty can expect to enjoy deeper, manlier voices that will result in higher popularity and lots and lots of pretty girlfriends!

- Girls who have mastered the art of the "French Inhale" by the age of 11 are 65% more likely to have at least 2 pretty babies before high school is over and not bother having to go to college and pay good money to listen to diseased liberal intellectuals spout treasonous verbal diarrhea.

- United States tobacco farmers represent a small but powerful special interest group. Many refuse to accept Federal pork barrel dollars devoted to convincing them to convert to other crops. That's because they believe in their product - and not because they're dumb or too afraid to do something new and different. };{>

Sadly, the lungs of those pre-pubescent girls who have mastered the art of the french inhale do not ever fully recover, no matter how long after they quit smoking. They appear to be more vulnerable than boys in that area.

George Washington, grew cigarettes in the fields behind of his house "Mount Vernon."
Can you also grow cigars? I will plant those butts in the back yard from now on.

...with plenty of water, sun and fertilizer.

this is a "cut and paste" off of the net, so i am not responsible for any errors....lol