Okay... what's a great one-liner you like to use sometimes? It can be your own, or it can be from a movie or whatever.

Life's tough. It's tougher when you're stupid. - That was from a John Wayne movie, but I like it.

if i was half as smart as i thought i was, i'd be twice as smart as i really am

And of course, my signature line on another site... that I think I read somewhere, not sure.

No matter how beautiful she is, somebody, somewhere, is tired of her ****.

Women... you can't live with 'em and you can't shoot 'em, pass the beer nuts. - Norm Peterson, Cheers.

Marry Me, Fly Free . . .

"Always do sober what you said you do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut"

hemingway

Yeah, like the time I commited to a hike on a trail in Hawaii . . . Drunk as hell I commited to the trip and what a pain in the ass that was witht the planning the travel and the hike too . . .

But, I'm glad I went ...

...or the time I told my buddy at the bar how easy it was to hang drywall.....hell, I'll come over tommorrow and do it for you.

another good example: NEVER open your mouth when someone asks, "Anybody know anything about plumbing?"

Or the time I foolishly offered to help move his house as opposed to paying movers . . . trying to save a friend some cash and man, what an ordeal . . .

buy low sell high

liquer up front, poker in a little while!

Did you every notice how the first part of the work day just flies by....

and then the last seven and a half hours just drag?

You don't have to go home, you just can't stay here.

NO ONE LEAVES THIS WORLD WISHING HE HAD SPENT MORE

TIME AT THE OFFICE.

Two I use most often:

"It ain't this cowboy's first rodeo."

and

"There are two kinds of people in this world - those who want me, and those who want to be me."

When you're up to your armpits in alligators, it's difficult to remember that your initial mission was to drain the swamp.

"opinions are like A$$holes...everyones got one."

R

From my wife: Take me someplace I've never been before.

Ok, How about the kitchen...

Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn, now and then.

When dealing with jerks threatening litigation:

"I'm sure you'll do what you think is best."

When dealing with complaining letters, Mark Twain used this one (I have also found it useful):

"Dear Sir or Madam, You may be right."

But my favorite of all time came from D.D. Eisenhower:

"Things are more like they are today then they ever have been before." Drop that one at your next meeting and watch people scratch their heads.