I pull in to my dirtway (formerly know as driveway....then known as grassway) today and the bomb squad has roped off the area around my mailbox.
"Please stay in you car sir........there is a possibility that there is an explosive device in your mailbox"
"WHAT?????????"
He goes on to explain that the postman noticed a faint ticking in the package and was concerned......one thing led to another and here we were.
My wife is FREAKING OUT.....I'm trying to settle her down.......her BP is already high from her pregnancy....MAN..I don't need this crap!
Thank goodness Delaney is sleeping.
By the time the gy finishes explaining it to me, they have the robot approaching with a metal detector and an x-ray machine.
I'm thinking, "Who the hell would put a bomb in my mailbox?".
Just then this guy says........"No prob chief....just a watch".
"You sure??.....MAKE SURE".
"Yep.........see right here" (he points to what looks like a watch on a monitor".
Everyone settles down.
"Sorry sir......false alarm, didn't mean to startle you."
Whatever.........he hands me the box.
Im thinking that this is some joke, so I whip out the swiss army knife and open the box...look inside....hah...it IS a watc..
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
Next thing I remembered I'm sitting on my lawn about twenty feet from where I was a second ago......the bomb squad is going nuts....spraying me with ClassD extinguishers.....
"I'm OK....I think......what the....."
in my hands is a sealed box of Don Barreto Torpedos..........WTF???
one of the stupefied uniforms walks up and says "Here Sir....this must be your watch"
He hands me a really slick looking Roamer Swiss watch.
I'm puzzled........and very happy with my new stuff.
"Where did this come from?" I asked.
"The return address burn't up....guess we'll never know"
Just then, I hear one of the guys murmuring something to the boss about some guy out west.......sounds like "Stromboli" or something.
"HEY.....what do you know about this", I ask.
His eyes turned down, he muttered " It....it..it...it is j..j..jj..j.just to painful sir....I c..c..c..can't......"
"OUT WITH IT MAN"!!!!!
"Sl.....sl....sli...........slim......slimbo....."
he faints...........out cold.
The rest of the crew hauled him into ttheri van and shuffled away quietly.......some giving me a sympathetic pat on the back as they walked by.
What a wonderfully wierd experience.
