Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots, a
really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a dog-eared
copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish. Leave a note on your front
door that says something like "Bubba, big Mike and I have gone to get
more ammunition - back in 15 minutes. Don't disturb the Pit bulls,
they've just been wormed and are in a very bad mood.
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