It is hard to say when it happened, but it was blown
up some time this past week. Witnesses say it
happened after many mysterious packages were delivered
via the US Postal Service.
The firemarshal was first to be interviewed. He said,
"I have not seen a series of bombs THIS bad
since...well, never. They never knew what hit
them--poor ** yanked by SteveRCigarBid!!!"
It seems that these mad bombers thought they were
mailing to a guy's home, but in this country town, the
homes on the outskirts do not actually have mailboxes.
In order to receive packages, the intended victim
used this address instead of his PO Box.
But the true victim is the community, who now lack a
decent place to borrow books.
The police have some leads. One source, on the
condition of anonymity gave up a few names...actually
CODENAMES. One goes by JHC. Apparently, he sent a
nice bomb with a few beautiful cigars--some of which
were flavored. Yes, I can smell them right now. I
think there is cocoa and vanilla somewhere in there, rum too, perhaps.
A cigar cutter, key chain punch, and Ram clip were also in
the package--the Ram clip is said to be from a guy we
will call RAM.
Another package was from Hoss. Quite a few
smokes...actually this one did perhaps the most
damage, as there was an Immenso and Diablo involved,
but that was just the start. He sent a port wine,
which you all know has a higher alcohol content, which
only helped the place burn faster.
And the military will not like this getting out, but
one of theirs named Cadbeans sent a HUGE explosion.
He packed that baby with something known as King Bs,
Italias and Brazilias, Mx2--which sounds military
speak, Partagas Cifuentes seasonal, and a few
Toranos--including a Virtuoso.
A Mr. J.Redleg was somehow involved, as well. His
bomb included a "homemade" Redleg Reserve. I am told
it packed quite a punch, but I am just taking an
experts word for it.
ALL was lost for that little library! Wait, wait. They have something. It is small. What is that? I think it is an ashtray. Let's get a closer look. Yes, it is an ashtray that brockbilt (a little humor). magnificent workmanship...heavy, a true work of art. Holds 2 cigars, and I am told it CAME with 2 cigars.
BOOM! Hold the phone! Another bomb BOOM--make that 2 bombs just went off! The word around here is that a Steve02 (perhaps--details shakey right now) hit with a trilogy of Trilogy. And Dup hit the library with CDs, a mug, 5 bottles of alcohol, which caused a flare up! And some cigars--just for good measure!
Well, there you have it. A community torn because of
a few mad bombers. The intended victim's condition is
not known at this time, though I hear there were no
casualties, minus a few books.
thanks to all. wish i could`ve had more free time, but well...see the misc board.
