GOOD ADVICE

Some of the best advice I've ever received (and actually taken) was to "Kidnap My Wife".

1. Tell her nothing about what you're planning.

2. If you're broke, or on a tight budget, just put a little back until you have what you need, no matter how long it takes.

3. Make sure it's not her birthday, or anything else.

4. Make arrangements to farm out the kids.

5. Buy her roses and have them sent to her AT HER PLACE OF WORK on the day of departure. Ten times better than giving them to her at home.

6. Make reservations for a nice hotel (right in town if that's all you can handle). Get a special room, with a large jacuzzi and other special amenities. Take a gift or something special for her and arrange to have it on the table in the room, waiting for her. Premium chocolates are good, gift wrapped. If possible, a diamond under her pillow works miracles. (If you're going out of town/state, tip the porter to take your bags and gifts to the room while you take her for coffee or drink.)

7. Make reservations at a really good restaurant (one that she would like). Take three gifts to the restaurant ahead of time, tip the staff, and arrange to have one gift brought to her with each course, each one wrapped, with a card. Even silly things like a stuffed animal work well, doesn't have to be expensive.

8. Plan for a night of entertainment (a movie, concert, or anything she'd love). Be sure to pack dress clothes for her.

9. Buy her a frilly negligee, something really special (Victoria's Secret works really well).

10. Then . . . . pack your bags (including hers) and pick her up (total surprise) just as she gets off work. Leave her car there (or have arrangements to have it picked up by a friend) and head directly to your destination (or the airport). Make sure that she does no cooking or any "work" for the duration. Even better, take that day off and clean the house, so when you come home she has another surprise.

I did the above, and flew Jenny (first class) to Clearwater Beach at Tampa/St. Pete, Florida for a three day weekend. We slept in, had room service, swam in the ocean and the hotel pool, walked the boardwalks and had a great little getaway. Be sure to bring enough cash to buy her something special for the memory. And don't leave her in the room while you go fishing/golfing - this is her weekend.

I can testify it'll do great things for your marriage.

The wise man who put this idea in my head also told me this . . . . . "The most selfish (for yourself) thing you can do is be unselfish." Man was he right.

I promise you'll never regret it.

Tuck

I think I'll go puke now.

Yeah, and you'll probably have to clean it up yourself, too.

I had the fiddle player from my old country band walk into the restaurant where we were having our anniverary dinner with a dozen roses and his fiddle, where he played a classical-sounding piece he learned just for the occaision.

I don't think I'll ever be able to top that one.

As unctiously as Tucks phrases it, it's true: plan a suprise trip, tell the old lady on Friday afternoon to get in the car, no questions asked, and whisk her off to uncertainty and intrigue. People dig that kind of action. Just hard for me to picture Tucks off cavorting in the surf in an electric wheelchair, but then, technology is progressing in ways I can't possibly keep abreast of.

Doc, as swarmy as it may sound thats kinda of a low blow ,don't ya think.

Easy Doc, easy.

Hey Tuck, once I have her kidnapped, when should I have her returned? LOL!

Tuck, I'm assuming you did this some time ago?

Yeah, any woman would love this and I think it's great to do that for them some time.

I also think it's important to do little nice things for them every day. They like that, too.

Have the morning off from work? Take care of the kids and let her sleep in.

At the grocery store? Pick her up her favorite "treat" that she doesn't have every day.

Did something today make you think of her fondly? Let her know!

She likes to know you love her/appreciate her every day and that you haven't completely lost every romantic bone in your body...

Wasn't intended as a low blow, so no, I don't think so Jack. That's your spin, not mine.

From the Merriam Webster dictionary online:

Main Entry: unc·tu·ous

Pronunciation: '&🆖(k)-ch&-w&s, -ch&s, -shw&s

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French or Medieval Latin; Middle French unctueux, from Medieval Latin unctuosus, from Latin unctus act of anointing, from unguere to anoint

1 a : FATTY, OILY b : smooth and greasy in texture or appearance

2 : PLASTIC fine unctuous clay

3 : full of unction; especially : revealing or marked by a smug, ingratiating, and false earnestness or spirituality

- unc·tu·ous·ly adverb

Hmmmmm...

Well I find Tuck's egregious earnestness and/or spirituality typically over the top, and hence, unctious. That's his style; kinda cornfed. Similarly, Tuck finds my style to, or more frequently, not to his liking, as expresses it, as he has his right to; not a low blow, just a man expressing his feelings.

Hell, I was agreeing with the guy

Yeah guys - This one was the last surprise trip (of several) before my problems began. I still had full use of all my body parts.

While at Clearwater Beach we went out for a half day cruise on a yacht, did a half day fishing boat and caught a bunch of little ones, looked at a collection of oil paintings by Red Skelton (we didn't know he was a gifted painter), spent a lot of time on the beach and in the surf, and ate some four star meals. Mama was happy. The rest of the activities are classified.

I am in the midst of planning one now, to Hot Springs, here in Arkysaw. I like to do one every three years or so. My biggest problem is finding someone we trust to take care of the furkids.

Remember, it loses much of the fun if it isn't a complete surprise.

Tuck

From dictionary.com

e·gre·gious ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-grjs, -j-s)

adj.

Conspicuously bad or offensive. See Synonyms at flagrant.

[From Latin gregius, outstanding : -, ex-, ex- + grex, greg-, herd; see ger- in Indo-European Roots.]

e·gregious·ly adv.

e·gregious·ness n.

______

corn-fed (kôrnfd)

adj.

Fed on corn: corn-fed pigs.

Slang. Healthy and strong, but provincial and unsophisticated.

Hmmmm...

Camper - Thanks for helping us simple folks out. Tuck

Hey Tuck, seems we are alike in many ways. Have done that, and others. There are plenty of websites you can find that custom make things for you at a reasonable price. one of the last ones I had done for her was a wood jigsaw puzzle made with "Te Amo Para Siempre" (I love you always) Burned onto it. It's the little things that add up and count the most.

It's obvious. You know the secret. Tuck

Doctor Pepper Spray . . . you are abrasive as hell . . . and that's Not a compliment . . .

Did You know that Red Skeleton was a confirmed wife beater?

Q: What do battered women have in common?

A: They Didn't Listen . . .

Bad Joke . . . LoL . . .

Kind of similar to:

What do you tell a woman with a black eye?

Nothin, you already told her once.