from your other thread,

http://www.cigarbid.com/auction/forum/forum.cfm?action=list&forumID=7&messageDisplay=0000000055463 

I am curious about your comment.. please explain more in depth here?

Hog

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"108. Author: tey Date: 02/09/2006 11:05 AM Adroomi,

Thanks for the posts man. Last night I was smoking at the cigar bar with some buddies. We talked politics, God, and race. My friend said something that I found very interesting. I asked him ,if being white, would he have a problem with his daughter dating a black man? His answer I think is the prime example of prejuidice in the US today. He said he wouldn't have a problem with it but he knows there are better out there for her!!!"

110. Author: usahog Date: 02/09/2006 11:33 AM

Tey,

"My friend said something that I found very interesting. I asked him ,if being white, would he have a problem with his daughter dating a black man?"

"if being white," from this I am assuming your friend isn't Cacuasion?

if not how can HE, put himself in a whiteman's shoe's and make such a statement? is he not prejudice in his own shoe's?

"He said he wouldn't have a problem with it but he knows there are better out there for her!!!"

What does he mean by "Better out there for her"?

Hung Better? Better skilled? Better Educated? better what?

Who's making this Bios Opinion anyway?

Hog

I forgot to add "him" being white. He is white.

As far as what he meant by better, ofcourse he meant white. Because hypothetically the only scenario he was given was his daughter dating a black man. Education, job, personality had nothing to do with it. Only color which is unfortunte.

That is unfortunate. That man is attempting to close a lot of doors for his daughter that could lead to a very happy life for her.

"Only color which is unfortunte."

Unfortunate for him.. because the views you expressed as his in your post are ONLY His.. he doesn't speak for the millions of others and throughout the years since the 60's cultural clashing has subsided allot...

have you ever had any diversity training? from your posts I've read of your's I would say Not.. check with your local state agency's this is something that is Free and could give you a different outlook on your emotions...

Hog

Ya know, I was a peer counselor in the military. We went through 80 hours of training. In this they discussed prejudices and the harm they CAN cause. Not all prejudice is bad. Our instructors were a mix of races. The thing that stood out the most was the prejudice of the folks of color. This really came out when they were placed on the 'hot seat' and we could ask them anything we wanted.

One young black man was asked if he would have a problem with his sister dating a white man. The dude blew up. The instructors had to calm him down. He said no F'n way will anyone in my family date anybody from another race. Several displaye a feeling of entitlement, why? All they could respond with was 'they' owe me. There are many examples.

We had a white dude from Montana with the same type of reaction. He had never met a black person until he joined the army.

I guess my point is lots of people feel that way. I have to think it is a natural occurrence and you have to learn to accept the opposite.

Tey,

Your friend is a putz.

Find better friends.

I would have a really hard time being comfortable with my daughter dating a black guy........or a mexican....or a white guy for that matter.

i think we should take a closer look at what he said. he said that there were several that were "better for her." that may (and probably does) just mean that he thinks it would be better for her to stay within her race and not that the white race is better than any other. for instance, he may also say that a black man would be better for a black woman.

when you're talking about relationships, you have to understand that you're not just talking about finding "the best person," but really the best person for a given person. folks from every race, every country, every religion have these feelings. catholics want their children marrying catholics. whites want their children marrying whites. koreans want their children marrying koreans. this is nothing new, but it is something that has been misinterpreted and sensationalized by the media and others that have some other sort of agenda. this, in my opinion, isn't a form of prejudice. it's a form of cultural preservation and possibly some isolationism. now, that being said, there are people out there that demonstrate these traits and some less desirable ones, but let's try to recognize that distinction.

Excellent point, Lofty!

My dad is very racist. He was born in Lithuania and relocated to the US with his parents at a very young age. But anyway... Talking with him one could easily tell. If you mention a person's last name, he goes on to ask if said person is Italian, Irish, etc... Which okay fine.

But he has a huge issue with Latin Americans and African Americans. When I was in high school, I dated this guy Mark that was Latino. My dad was happy to hear I had a boyfriend until he asked his "fatherly" questions. Including Mark's age and last name. Made it worse because my dad asked these questions and went on his tirade as Mark was sitting in the living room. Can we say embarassing moment in 14 year old freshman girls life? We ended up splitting up months later. Making my dad happier then flies on crap. Really and I mean REALLY pissed my dad off when Mark and I got back together during my Junior/Senior year in high school. My dad had no choice then to tolerate the relationship at that time. I was my own person.

Even today, Sledn and I live in a highly populated African American community. My father just LOATHES it with every fiber of his being. He constantly "offers" his advice of other places to live. Well, sure I hear and listen to what he is saying. But Wes and I are obviously married ADULTS and can make our own choices.

But growing up with a father like this, hasn't jaded me or my opinions. I don't care if a person is green with purple pooka dots. I treat all the same. They may look different then me, but in the end we are all people with feelings and insights. I will continue to let my son play with the kids HE wants to play with. (Unless he comes into a harmful situation...) I will interact with whomever I like too. I am not going to bad mouth a race or religion just because there maybe one of two bad seeds I happen to run into.

Perhaps this guy isn't prejudiced at all?

He was guilty of stereotyping, for sure... but let's be honest... a lot of the movies and TV shows we see perpetuate the stereotype that black men are "dogs" and treat their women badly. Rap music does nothing to change the stereotype either. But it's a stereotype that some black men seem to want to perpetuate.

Tey, I do understand where you are coming from but you really need to dig deeper. Why does your friend think there are "better out there for her." You have experienced life from the perspective of some people being prejudiced against you. Your friend and his daughter have not. Does he think that there are people that will make life more difficult for a mixed race couple because of the prejudices that are in general society? Those concerns are real. I am an American white Jew married to a Mexican (already mixed race - white/Indian). Do we experience occasional bias issues from others, YES. Would I do things differently? NO. You have not dug deep enough to determine what your friend really feels. He may be a bigot, he may not be.

My 2 cents.