So I'm purging some junk from my basement, attic, and garage. I did the yard sale thing a couple weeks back and made a couple bills, but I'm at the point of not haggling anymore. "Please take it, I don't want it... it's been collecting dust for 5 yrs, 10 yrs... in my house, please take it."

I donated a bunch of kids clothes and toys and such to the church, I've let the neighbors and in-laws pick and choose... I still have crap that I've been holding on to for no reason... time to get rid of it. Stuff like yard and garden tools (I had 5 spade shovels, multiple rakes, half dozen hoes, enough garden hoses and soaker hoses to water a football field, 8 sprinklers... do I really need them all or will one set of each suffice?), humidifiers, dehumidifiers, space heaters, bar stools, 4 potty training potty seats....

So I post some these things for free on craigslist and yahoo freecycle. I get a ton of hits.. tens of e-mails every hour. I say "I'm putting it outside next to to driveway. Lots of interest so first come, first serve." A couple people I promise things that I'll set aside so they can pick it up tomorrow.

Now I'm getting e-mails and calls about "You said it was available." "I thought I was first on the list." blah blah blah...

I told you, first come first serve. I promised it to you because you said you'd be here around 10:00 but at 4:00 you were a no show so it went to the next person who wanted it.

F'n A!

Now that my rant is done, I'm gonna have a smoke and sort through my vinyl. I have probably 300 LP's from the 70's and 80's that are gonna be picked up tomorrow if the guy shows. These are not free though - $75 for the collection. It pains me to let them go but they haven't seen the light of day for probably 10 yrs now. It's time to let go.

How much for the hoes?

Bar stuff... I have a bunch of glassware (random wine glasses, champagne glasses, pilsner glasses, mugs, steins, shot glasses...) I'll put them out by the driveway and you can pick them up tomorrow. First come first serve. NO BITCHIN' IF YOUR NOT FIRST!

Sometimes I wonder if I should just open the front and back door and let a parade of people though. You see anything you want? Name your price. In one door, out the other... keep it moving..

Oh, the scrap book kit thing that my wife just HAD to buy then barely used? (seriously... ? I s#it you not, it's a f'n suitcase of craft stuff: special cutters, special markers, special paper, special blah, blah, blah...) It's yours... no wait don't go away... I'll give you $5 to take it so I don't have to trip over it anymore. PLEASE!

(can you sense my animosity over the $200 HARDLY USED scrap booking kit or did I hide it well enough?)

Water under the bridge, I'm OK now

(I knew that someone would tag that one)

Happy Holidays Robert.

I wouldn't pass on junk, it's all usable stuff, just things I don't use anymore or have too many of (how many hoes do you need? LOL). It pains me to say "Sorry, it's gone..." Most everyone was greatfull and appreciative. It was nice to see folks get the stuff I had to offer (young families just starting out or down on their luck). I'm happy to see it go to someone that can use it. I wish I had more to offer.

One item was a snow board with boots, wrist guards, bindings, snowboard bag... a clean and compete set. I hung up snowboarding after breaking an ankle and wrist about 8 yrs ago. The guy who picked it up thanked me perfusely (sp?) and it almost brought me to tears. His son is due to be deployed this winter and the snowboard will be his Christmas present so they can hit the local mountain as son and dad before he has to head over seas.

Who knows, we all might need a little kindness the future. PAY IT FORWARD.

Funny you should mention that. I actually passed on a beer brewing kit (seriously) Beginners home brew kit... all you need to get started except the bottles. I haven't brewed beer in 5 yrs of so. The old saying is, if you haven't used it in a year then get rid of it. (I bet there some jokes coming from that statement)

Where have you been? You could have made a killing here!

First come first serve

(wait, check the fridge)

I don't wish death on anything but if the fish would just... well... circle of life.. some are the predators some are bait.

Yertle the Turtle

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yertle_the_Turtle_and_Other_Stories 

Red Hot Chili Peppers did a song of it

Look at the turtle go bro...

Anyway... we'll smoke sticks from my stash while Yertle does his business. Do you think he he'll take care of the snail too?

And don't bitch at me if your damn turtle doesn't get first dibs to eat my mollies or ghost fish or tetras...

Wow, re-reading that last statement, it could be taken out of context and twisted in an unnatural way. Good thing I'm not running for office.

Lawyer: Your Honor - Exhibit 1,320 why he should not be allowed to run for office. I would like to enter his CBid posts for evidence

Judge: All of them?

Lawyer: I think one is enough, I wouldn't want to overwhelm the jury.

Me: Look at that turtle go bro.

Lawyer: I rest my case