World Cannot Believe Mubarak Hasn’t F'ing Left Yet

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RICKAMAVEN
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

15 years ago

]linton Calls Egyptian ‘Epic Douche’

CAIRO (The Borowitz Report) – As protests in Egypt enter their second week, the consensus in diplomatic circles is disbelief that Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak has not **** left yet.

Around the world, diplomats spoke openly about Mr. Mubarak, often in language reserved for Wikileaks cables, underlining the prevailing opinion that Mr. Mubarak is behaving like a ginormous ******.

“Hosni Mubarak is acting like an in-law who’s stayed too long and can’t take a hint,” said the usually reserved US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. “I have no idea why he’s still **** there, other than to be an epic douche.”

Even President Barack Obama, renowned for his careful choice of words, seemed to be losing patience with Mr. Mubarak: “I never thought I’d say this about someone, but Hosni Mubarak is an even bigger jackass than Kanye.”

In a sign that the US may be trying to send a clear message to Mr. Mubarak, today the State Department dispatched Donald Trump to Egypt.

As people once again filled the streets of Cairo, Fox News said that it could not estimate the crowd size “until we know how many of them are Democrats.”

Meanwhile, CNN’s Wolf Blitzer said that as the crisis deepens in Egypt, “Stay tuned to CNN for up-to-the-minute reports about Charlie Sheen.”

Edited by user 15 years ago | Reason: Not specified

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ZRX1200
Herf-A-Holic

15 years ago

One of your funnier C&P Rick.

RICKAMAVEN
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

15 years ago

the dictator or pesident for life of tunisia gave the same speech a few days
ago and went home and packed. early the next morning his wife took several
limos to her bank and withdrew all the money from the bank, not just hers, but all
the money from all the banks in tunisia and the two of them plus his girl
friends flew to saudi arabia.

mubarak will take a few more days, his money hidden in solid 24K gold
place settings, with service for 500 guests. he has to arrange for several
planes to carry the weight of gold to florida, where there are no restrictions
or tax in the importation of personal plates and cups and other food
serving dishes, for former dictators we like,

he will be welcomed by the remainder of the shah of iran's family and the
marcos family and talk about how to steal an entire countries wealth while
imelda changes shoes every 5 minutes

Edited by user 15 years ago | Reason: Not specified

RICKAMAVEN
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

15 years ago

one of the shah of iran's hobby's was exceptionally beautiful women from
around the world. personal agents of the shah had instructions to make
arrangements with beautiful women to fly to iran in private planes to spend
one night with him fo which they would be paid $15,000. cash. when he
left iran he kept the list of women with him, probably on a rolodex.

charlie sheen is a piker.

jackconrad
Herf-A-Holic

15 years ago

RICKAMAVEN said "As people once again filled the streets of Cairo, Fox News said that it could not estimate the crowd size “until we know how many of them are Democrats."

”No need to estimate The number is as always, "well over a Million"..