>1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
>~ Sam Snead
>
>2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool..
>~ George Brett
>
>3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
>~ Jim Murray
>
>4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
>~ Mickey Mantle
>
>5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
>~ Kevin Costner
>
>6. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
>~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
>
>7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
>~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
>
>8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
>~ Brian Weis
>
>9. Swing hard in case you hit it.
>~ Dan Marino
>
>10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
>~ Lord Robertson
>
>11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
>~ Jack Benny
>
>12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
>~ Ben Hogan
>
>13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
>~ Jack Nicklaus
>
>14. The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.
>~ H. G. Wells
>
>15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
>~ Billy Graham
>
>16. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
>~ Bob Hope
>
>
>17. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
>~ Henny Youngman
>
>18. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
>~ Jack Lemmon
>
>19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
>~ Lee Trevino
>
>20. I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
>~ Lee Trevino
>
>
>
>"Only when the last tree has died & the last river been poisoned & the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money."
> -Cree Indian Proverb
