Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ron Paul.

Where does a penguin keep his money?
Ron Paul.

Extended version: It doesn’t matter where the penguin keeps his money, because it’s all fiat money that has no actual value, but Ron Paul will restore the gold standard.

How do rednecks celebrate Halloween?
Ron Paul.

What did the fly say when he flew into the wall?
Ron Paul.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
Ron Paul.

Extended version: None. Ron Paul will invent perpetual motion and light bulbs that never burn out, thus creating a perfect utopia where blondes never need to change light bulbs.

How do you make a dead baby float?
Ron Paul.

What’s grosser than gross? Ron Paul.
What’s grosser than that? Ron Paul.

What’s black and white and red all over?
Ron Paul.

A priest, a rabbi, and an indian chief walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Ron Paul.”

Extended version, the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t take cash or credit. We only accept gold coins, which never lose their value. There’s never been a better time to invest in gold. Invest in gold today.”

What falls down but never gets hurt?
Ron Paul.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ron Paul.

What did the tree say to the mountain?
Ron Paul.

Why did the farmer bury all his money?
Ron Paul.

Extended version: He buried it to keep it safe until Ron Paul restored the gold standard.

What did god say to the man on the moon?
Ron Paul.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a penguin?
Ron Paul.

Why did the bull run off the cliff?
Ron Paul.

What do you call two guys fighting over a prostitute?
Ron Paul.

How do you turn soup into gold?
Ron Paul. Trust me, he’s working on that one.


sadly Elmer Fudd won't be President,,,, again,,,

[whip] [whip] [whip] [whip] wheel,,,

Chuck Norris style Ron Paul jokes
1.
Ron Paul invented Chuck Norris.
2.

I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Ron Paul.
3.

Ron Paul’s tears can shrink government. Too bad he never cries
4.

Studies by the World Health Organization show that Ron Paul is the leading cause of freedom among men.
5.
Ron Paul took a lie detector test. The lie detector tapped out.
6.

Ron Paul doesn’t cut taxes. He kills them with his bare hands.
7.

Jesus wears a wrist band that says “What Would Ron Paul Do?”
8.

While not a proctologist, Ron Paul will save this country’s ass.
9.

Ron Paul doesn’t go the gym. He stays fit by exercising his civil rights.
10.

Ron Paul delivers babies without his hands. He simply reads them the

Bill of Rights and they crawl out in anticipation of freedom
11.
Ron Paul wasn’t born, he liberated himself from the womb.
12.
Ron Paul’s idea of Gun Control is both hands on the weapon.
13.
Ron Paul doesn’t pee. He liberates urine.
14.
The Chicken crossed the road to vote for Ron Paul.
15.
God calls Ron Paul for advice.
16.
Ron Paul knows dozens of words that rhyme with “orange”.
17.
Ron Paul gets high on freedom.
18.
Ron Paul can turn water into the American Flag.
19.
When applied directly to the brain, Ron Paul instantly cures socialism.
20.
Ron Paul doesn’t act like a patriot, a patriot acts like Ron Paul.
21.
Ron Paul turned down Superman’s job.
22.
Ron Paul can believe its not butter.
23.
In Braveheart, Mel Gibson was originally supposed to scream “RON PAUL!” however, it was changed to just “Freedom!” for legal reasons.
24.
Ron Paul knows how LOST is going to end.
25.
Ron Paul named his fists “Freedom” and “Justice”.
26.
When Chuck Norris gets scared, he goes to Ron Paul.

Chuckie doesn't go on medicare...they have their OWN plan!

Or this version, courtesy of the current administration...

Why did the chicken cross the road?
He didn't have a bus ride, and it's all Bush's fault.

Where does a penguin keep his money?
He doesn't have any money, only some dead fish, and it's all Bush's fault.

How do rednecks celebrate Halloween?
They don't, and it's all Bush's fault.

What did the fly say when he flew into the wall?
Ouch. And it's all Bush's fault.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
They can't, and it's all Bush's fault.

How do you make a dead baby float?
It can't, and it's all Bush's fault.

What’s black and white and red all over?
A newspaper, and it's all Bush's fault.

A priest, a rabbi, and an Indian chief walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “It's all Bush's fault.”

What falls down but never gets hurt?
A waterfall, and it's all Bush's fault.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Nobody, and it's all Bush's fault.

What did the tree say to the mountain?
It's all Bush's fault.

Why did the farmer bury all his money?
Actually he didn't have any money, and it's all Bush's fault


What did god say to the man on the moon?
It's all Bush's fault.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a penguin?
Nothing, and it's all Bush's fault.

Why did the bull run off the cliff?
Because of the economy, and it's all Bush's fault

What do you call two guys fighting over a prostitute?
Tiger Woods and his caddy, and it's all Bush's fault

How do you turn soup into gold?
You can't, and it's all Bush's fault

http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/177717-ron-paul-raises-18m-in-24-hours 


HAHAHAHAHAAHA...the "joke" is out.

People are dialing in.