I'm sorry to tell you, that things are a little rough at the North Pole, this year. The Elves' union is on strike, demanding stock options, longer eggnog breaks and Christmas off, PETA has been stirring up trouble, accusing me of exploiting the reindeer, Doc has informed me that I have Type 2 diabetes and have to lay off the cookies and milk or I might lose my leg, Prancer has come out of the closet (well, stall) and has hired an ACLU lawyer to sue me because our veterinary insurance doesn't cover gender reassignment surgery, and the does have filed a complaint with HR because he insists on using their bathrooms, which they say is creating a hostile work environment for them.

Needless to say, not a lot is getting done around here, and old Santa is falling behind! That's why I'm here. I need to deputize a few scab elves to help me out this year, and I'm thinking that you good folks are just what Old St. Nick is looking for!

Now, anyone who knows anything about Old Kris Kringle, knows that I'm pretty discreet for a jolly old elf with a jelly-bowl belly, so if you're interested in being one of Santa's little helpers this year, PM a hearty "HO! HO! HO!" and I'll fill you in on the job details! I have to pick up my suit at the freeze-dry cleaner, and Mrs. Santa asked me to drop her off at her Zumba class tonight, but I promise I'll get the jolly details to all responding deputy elves later tonight!

THANK YOU, DEAR CBID BOYS AND GIRLS!

HO! HO! HO!

i"m confused.

I might be able to do some cookies.. will pm.

Come on Santa, we would love to have you on team noob!!

Busa was indeed, my number one helper a couple years ago! I had to have a stern talking-to with him, though, after Cupid and Vixen filed sexual harassment grievances against him. We've put all of that awkward nonsense behind us, now, and I am really looking forward to working with Jester-Claus again!!! I hear he's a king, now? Little Anthony is really moving up in the world! HO! HO! HO!

Here I thought you were an Prick, and you go and post this very nice and tender message.

Wonderful sentiment and so true.

He just said green ones Mrs....glass half full for ya!

Red tights are good then... AWESOME!