G.O.P. Freshmen Saddened by Failure to Shut Down Government on First Day

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RICKAMAVEN
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

13 years ago

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Just hours after being sworn in at the U.S.
Capitol, the freshman class of House Republicans said that they were disappointed
that they failed to shut down the government on their first day in office.

“We were all like, ‘O.K., we’re sworn in, let’s shut this thing down,’” said freshman Rep.
Byron Ernie (R-Kentucky). “We were all pretty bummed that the government just kept
running.”

Rep. Ernie acknowledged that it might have been “overly optimistic” of the freshman
Republicans to expect to engineer a government shutdown on their very first day,
“but bringing the government to a random standstill was the whole reason we became
Republicans,” he said.

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R- Virginia) chuckled good-naturedly at the
ambitions of the high-spirited G.O.P. freshmen, telling reporters, “I remember
what it was like to be young and full of big ideas about crippling our historic institutions
for no discernible reason whatsoever. There’s nothing like your first time.”

Surveying the cherubic faces of the incoming Republicans, he said, “They’re like
kids who want to close down a candy store.”

Looking beyond the disappointment of his first day, Rep. Ernie said he was looking
forward to “that magical day” when he and his fellow Republican freshmen get to
participate in their very first government shutdown: “We’ll be paralyzing the
government in the same building where John Boehner and Eric Cantor did it, and Newt
Gingrich before them. It’s like playing basketball in the same arena as Michael Jordan.”

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DrMaddVibe
Herf-A-Holic

13 years ago

When it's shutdown the thieving stops.

It's when they're busy crafting crap like ObamaCare and raising taxes on the 77% of Americans!

I say close it down too.

Zero confidence in leadership from ALL 3 BRANCHES

Gene363
Herf-A-Holic

13 years ago

Best thing ever for DC.

Well, except a good sized meteorite strike.

Dam I'd miss the Smithsonian.

The escape pod: https://cigarbid.freeforums.net

bloody spaniard
Herf-A-Holic

13 years ago

Admit it, Rick , you wouldn't have REALLY minded if they had succeeded in temporarily "shutting down" the Government, would you? 😉

DadZilla3
Herf-A-Holic

13 years ago

If you're referring to government 'of the people, by the people, for the people'...that particular government has already been shut down for many years now.

Brewha
Herf-A-Holic

13 years ago

If you're referring to government 'of the people, by the people, for the people'...that particular government has already been shut down for many years now.

DadZilla3 wrote:

Spread your legs and place your hands in the yellow circles, please.

DadZilla3
Herf-A-Holic

13 years ago

Spread your legs and place your hands in the yellow circles, please.

Brewha wrote:

Exactly how did you become so familiar with the Barney Frank intern training program? 😳

daveincincy
Herf-A-Holic

13 years ago

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R- Virginia) chuckled good-naturedly at the
ambitions of the high-spirited G.O.P. freshmen, telling reporters, “I remember
what it was like to be young and full of big ideas about crippling our historic institutions
for no discernible reason whatsoever. There’s nothing like your first time.”

RICKAMAVEN wrote:

...and then eventually, after a couple years of conformity, you get comfortable in your ivory towers, sitting in your comfy leather chairs, giving "bread and circus" to the people, and you become too aristocratic to really give a d**n about anything or anyone.

It would be nice to think that the "high-spirited GOP freshmen" (or democrats, independents, etc) would be the ones to come in and make a real (positive) impact. Unfortunately, the noobs come in and eventually conform to the corrupted environment of their workplace.

Bread and Circuses
Roman politicians devised a plan in 140 B.C. to win the votes of these new citizens: giving out cheap food and entertainment, "bread and circuses", would be the most effective way to rise to power.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bread_and_circuses

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-06-02/the-danger-of-living-on-bread-and-circuses-alice-schroeder.html

Stinkdyr
Herf-A-Holic

13 years ago

Let's shut this muthah down already!!!!!!

[whip]

jpotts
Herf-A-Holic

13 years ago

#10

Shut it down, and force Rick to go live in some other country where he can greedily accept the handouts bought by the sweat and toil of others.

After all he is old, and smells of prunes.

RICKAMAVEN
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

13 years ago

#11

BLOOD

MY COLA WAS REMOVED FOM MY SOCIAL SECURITY CHECK, BUTT THE
FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAS LITTLE IF ANY INFLUENCE ON MY BREAKFAST
AND THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY, THEY SAY.

I AVOID PAYING MUCH ATTENTION TO NEWS ABOUT THE MARKET, ALTHOUGH
I DID BUY A DOZEN KUBE BEEF HAMBUGER PATTIES FROZEN AND UNCOOKED
BEFORE THE PRICE WHEN UP, AND I LIKED LAST YEARS STYLES OF SHORTS, AND
TEE SHIRT, SO I BOUGHT A BUNCH ON CLEARANCE AND WHEN IT GETS WARM
IN SO. CA, I'LL REMOVE THEM FROM THE MOTH CLOSET AND AIR THEM OUT BEFORE
I START WEARING THEM.

Edited by user 13 years ago | Reason: Not specified

RICKAMAVEN
Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter

13 years ago

#12

PUTTS PERSON

DID A PRINCE CHARMING KISS YOU AND AKE YOU UP?

WHERE DID HE KISS YOU?

IT WAS SO PEACEFUL HERE WHEN YOU WERE IN YOUR COMA.

nitro6526
Herf-A-Holic

13 years ago

#13

Who would have imagined rick was from CA?

Go back to slurping tapioca pudding and turning up your hearing aid rick.

What they wanted to do was slow down the juggernaut slowly but surely bleeding the middle class dry.

Oh yeah and it's all spelled correctly unlike your cut n paste drivel crap.

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