Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on Involuntary Muscle Contraction to the first year medical students.

This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked,

Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?

She replied, "Probably golfing with his buddies."

=d>

ummm

🤣

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well," the man says, "it's like this; I was playing a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white on its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it--stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my big mistake."

"What did you do?" the doctor asks.

"Well." the man replies, "I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife,

'Hey, this looks like yours!' I don't remember much after that."

Lmelao

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.

One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long

funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing,

takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.

His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing

I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married for 35 years."

So this guy is golfing with his wife and is having the round of his life. They get to the 16th and he hits his first bad shot of the day, hooks it right into the maintenance shed. He is pissed cause he was already dreaming of framing the scorecard and bragging to his buddies. He's throwing clubs and screaming and just acting like a horse's azz. His wife notices a wooden ventilation window in the side of the shed and sweetly suggests that she can hold it open while he hits through it and maybe save his round after all. He agrees. He's taking forever to line up the shot, waggle, and all the other bs golfers do. Finally, just as he hits the perfect shot, his wife peeks in the window and the ball smacks her in the forehead, killing her instantly. Now he's beside himself, screaming and crying "I'll never love anyone else" and just falling apart.

Exactly one year later he's golfing the same course with his new wife and is again having the round of his life. They get to 16 and he hits the same duck hook into the maintenance shed. He again goes into a screaming fit, tossing clubs and screaming like a maniac. The new wife sweetly says "Look honey, calm down. I can hold this window open for you while you hit out and everything will be fine. You can still make par". He looks at her with fear and horror and says "don't be stupid, last time I tried that I took a 7".