HIS BEST ROLE EVER ":: AS TURD FERGUSON
Celebrity Jeopardy
Alex Trebek.....Will Ferrell
French Stewart.....Jimmy Fallon
Burt Reynolds.....Norm MacDonald
Sean Connery.....Darrell Hammond
Alex Trebek: Welcome back to "Celebrity Jeopardy". Before we begin the Double Jeopardy round, I'd like to ask our contestants once again to please refrain from using ethnic slurs. That said, let's take a look at the scores. Sean Connery has set a new "Jeopardy" record with -$230,000.
Sean Connery: You think you're pretty smart, don't you, Trebek? What with your Diego mustache and your greasy hair!
Alex Trebek: Look, what did I just say about ethnic slurs? From "3rd Rock From the Sun", French Stewart in second place with -$17,000.
French Stewart: I'm a late bloomer, Alex, and in Double Jeopardy, I'm gonna bloom!
Alex Trebek: Sure you will. And finally, back again, Burt Reynolds in a commanding lead with $14.
Burt Reynolds: Hey. Hey, ah.. check out the podium. Look at this.
Alex Trebek: Mr. Reynolds has apparently changed his name to Turd Ferguson.
Burt Reynolds: Yeah, that's right. Turd Ferguson. It's a funny name.
Alex Trebek: Great. Let's take a look at the final board. And the categories are: "Potent Potables"; "Sharp Things"; "Movies That Start with the Word Jaws"; "A Petit Déjeuner" - that category is about French phrases, so let's just skip it.
Burt Reynolds: Hey, uh, I speak a little French. You're an assbite, pardon my French. [ does a quick laugh ]
French Stewart: My name's French!
Burt Reynolds: Yeah, well, who gives a damn?
Alex Trebek: Moving on.. "Animal Sounds"; "Condiments"; and finally, "Your Ass or a Hole in the Ground". Mr. Reynolds, unfortunately you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.
Burt Reynolds: Yeah, I'll take the condom thing for, uh.. eight thou.
