8trackdisco
Saturday, February 1, 2014 9:25:44 AM

Hey parents, here is one for you. As you are raising your kids, what strategies or mind set do you use as you raise them into their teen years?

Protecting them from all evil, stupidity, unethical behavior, politics, corruption etc. sets them up for shock and failure as they enter into adulthood.

Tell them most of how the reality of the real world is could turn them into bitter, angry, hopeless, all black wearing, Goth freaks walking around in a depressed state.

I understand moderation of some sort is the answer, but how do you guide your kids to that place somewhere in the middle?

If you have grown kids, toward which direction did you lead them?

Did they follow?

How has your plan worked, now that their teen years are in the rear view mirror?

dkeage
Saturday, February 1, 2014 10:00:29 AM
Our dog passed when she turned 14. We got another one...

Sorry I wasn't able to be more help....

wvwa34
Saturday, February 1, 2014 10:03:22 AM
Refer to the parents manual!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really almost impossible to answer your question,,,,,,,,,,,,,, !!!!!! Take everyday ,every situation as it comes along,use your own best advice,wisdom after accessing situations gathering information and TRY to lead on the path of correctness?! My son is almost 9,,,,,,,,,,My daughter is 31,,,,,,,,,, from a broken family,whos mother has already punched her ticket to HELL,,,,,,,,and my daughter almost never talks to her mom............. I and my side of the family was the majority of positive influence for my daughter growing up ,,,,,,,,,,and believe me she has major scars from her non realationship and disfunctional parenting from her mom.......... I have always TRIED to b attend all her activities be a life educator ,,,, loving caring etc,,,,,,,,,while battling her moms way of upbringing........... Of course there is sooooooooo much more to the story,,,,,,, counselors ,,,,,,,,,,suspected child abuse,,,,,,bla,bla,bla!!!!!!! To this day my daughter who is a very good mom herself,,,,, and has a very good relationship with me ,my wife........... My daughter is the 1st one in my family to get her MASTERS in nursing,,,,,,,and TEACHING....... I would like to think that I did something positive when she was growing up to encourage her present success,,,,,,,after many trials , failures and tribulations !!!!!!! You cant live in a bubble,,,,live paranoid,,,,,,, and only shelter your children so much that it will make them social rejects ................... Its really a fine line,,,,,,and as parents we all make mistakes along the way!!!!!! You do the best you can,,,,,,,,,,,,,love often and unconditionally ,,,,,,,,,,pick your spots to discipline,,,,,,,,,give guidance as often as possible without being overbearing............. let them make their own decisions and choices when possible,,,,,,,,,,,,,and TRY to strike some balance between ,work.play,health,spirituality............... Cross your 21 toes ,fingers and HOPE & PRAY the job you did is good enough too hold onto the saved bail $$$ ,,,,and it will lead them into a productive adult life,as a caring loving,giving individual?????????????? AGAIN READ THE PARENTS MANUAL!!!!! Which DOES NOT EXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wvwa34
Saturday, February 1, 2014 10:09:35 AM
Actually ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Send em all back and get a FULL REFUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
delta1
Saturday, February 1, 2014 1:16:28 PM
"Kids learn most from what they see, not what they're told." 09ChallengerDad

^+1

Not sure what the secret is, but we spent a lot of time with our kids when they were young: going on family vacations, coaching and volunteering time in their sports leagues, monitoring their homework assignments, attending their sports and extracurricular events at school, just being active in their lives as they grew up. We hoped that by being there we accomplished three things: they were involved in positive activities that could teach them citizenship and social skills, we could instruct when needed, and they could learn by our example.

Both of our kids are adults now and are starting their own families. We still enjoy each other's company and spend a lot of time together, going on vacations, visiting at each other's homes, holidays together. Looking forward to my "first" grandchild (my son's wife has two sons from previous marriage) in April, and my daughter's wedding in October. Family first and forever...

Palama
Saturday, February 1, 2014 1:24:46 PM
^^^ Al is a *very* wise man ^^^
tailgater
Saturday, February 1, 2014 2:07:31 PM
One simple rule:

Don't ever,

No matter what,

raise your children

based on the

opinions

offered

on

a

cigar forum.

KingoftheCove
Saturday, February 1, 2014 2:25:19 PM
IMO, the most important years in raising children, is 0-3. Love them, hold them a lot, teach them the difference, on all levels, between good and bad and right and wrong.

Then from 4 to 12, you're simply reinforcing those learned behaviors.

From 13 on, you're king of guiding them thru the storm, hoping and praying.

Too often, I've seen parents who "try" and develop/enforce behaviors when the child is 10, or 12, or even later...................doomed to fail.

MACS
Saturday, February 1, 2014 5:31:26 PM
What worked for you? You turned into a productive member of society and a good father.

Let kids be kids, when they ask the tough questions, don't sugar coat it. You're already teaching the boy personal responsibility and accountability. He's a good young lad... he will make the right decisions because he loves you guys.

8trackdisco
Saturday, February 1, 2014 6:02:02 PM

One simple rule:

Don't ever,

No matter what,

raise your children

based on the

opinions

offered

on

a

cigar forum.

tailgater wrote:

I'll take that advice!...... Wait....

JKilburn
Saturday, February 1, 2014 6:58:53 PM
daughter is 5 and son is almost 6 months. Hopefully my kids can learn much from my wife and I, as she did things "normal", went to school then college got a teaching job. I on the other hand went to school screwed my life up with drugs and alcohol and have since put life back together thus kids can be told about each path and choose what is right (hopefully.) We are always there for our daughter but let her be independent as much as possible for a 5 year old. If she wants to pick out clothes that don't match that's fine and doesn't hurt anybody and she feels good about it. She has minor chores that don't get a reward meaning why should she be comped for a clean room that she dirtied? We tell her thank you. We make her do her own homework but are there for help and correction. Times she says her way is right I tell her that if that's what she wants to turn in then go ahead but know that it'll be marked wrong. She's learning to read and holy crap it makes me sooo proud to hear her read. Overall the hardest yet rewarding thing is letting her fail and watch the growth and maturation occur. Teenage years I think I might live in a hotel for awhile as I hear those years are horrid.
jackconrad
Saturday, February 1, 2014 10:31:11 PM
Golden Rule

TEACH BY EXAMPLE

MACS
Saturday, February 1, 2014 11:39:48 PM

Golden Rule

TEACH BY EXAMPLE

jackconrad wrote:

Mah brother already does that.

Plus he lets the kid hang out with guys like me. Wait... scratch that last part.

Gene363
Sunday, February 2, 2014 9:45:02 AM

Golden Rule

TEACH BY EXAMPLE

jackconrad wrote:

Yes and I would add:

Being honest is a lot less trouble than keeping up with lies.

There are consequences to everything, not always good, not always bad.

Be yourself, do not let others define you.

Pay cash, credit is for dummies.

Oh, and one caution about, Teach by Example, both our sons are workaholics.

Burner02
Sunday, February 2, 2014 6:53:26 PM

jackconrad wrote: Golden Rule

TEACH BY EXAMPLE

Gene363 wrote: Being honest is a lot less trouble than keeping up with lies.

There are consequences to everything, not always good, not always bad.

Be yourself, do not let others define you.

Agee with the above but would add: Give them ownership and hold them accountable. Hold their feet to the fire as long as they are on your dime or a dependent. After that one can only pray.

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