Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement...

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like light imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink high quality domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, stock brokers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than North Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to North America. They crept in after the land was settled and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self.....-

🌫

Really need a "like" button here!

actually,,,

Beer was consumed because the water in medieval times was unfit to drink. Beer has alcohol, which kills bacteria,,,,


wheel,,

I like beer.

Consume it liberally. Conserve the good stuff for special occasion.

That still happens today!! So, I drank a bunch of beer last night. ;-)

http://www.cigarbid.com/FORUM/c/posts/644422/Didnt-brush-my-teeth-today- 

Cleverly funny. =d>

....
Seriously? This again?

Charlie posted this in 2005
http://www.cigarbid.com/Forum/c/posts/48917/The-Truth-about-Conservatives-vs-Liberals- 

Gene posted it again in 2006
http://www.cigarbid.com/Forum/c/posts/52954/An-Unbiased-History-Lesson 

Pabloescobar posted it in 2010
http://www.cigarbid.com/Forum/c/posts/m/2642756/_FOR-THOSE-THAT-DONT-KNOW-THEIR-HISTORY/? 

Drafter posted it in 2012
https://www.cigarbid.com/Forum/c/posts/617066/History-Lesson- 

DMV decided to throw it in a thread in 2014
http://www.cigarbid.com/FORUM/c/posts/m/3908053/The-Liberal-Mindset 

I'm sure if I dug enough I'd find even more times... it's like you guys get the same dumb thing on email chains that keep going around and around.

^^Uh-oh... the resident "i'm more enlightened (in the loafers) liberal" is offended.

Prolly gonna have a vote to ban this humorous thread from appearing again.

Untwist your silk panties, Nancy. 🍺

Letter from one 'Angry Woman'
I don't know who wrote it but they should have signed it. Some powerful words. This woman should run for president.
Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it! This is one ticked off lady.

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001 ?
Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was 'desecrated' when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't. I don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible , the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for chopping off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide .

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights ..

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled ' Koran ' and other times ' Quran .' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don't care!!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem' -- Ronald Reagan

I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you forward all this.

'If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under' Also by.. Ronald Reagan

One last thought for the day:

In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair 's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said: 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.'

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

^i was hoping that would get dragged out

Maybe TG will be along shortly to post it in Swedish chef speak?

this is one of those posts that deserves swedish chef angry old woman

Lettre d'une 'femme en colère "
Je ne sais pas qui l'a écrit, mais ils aurais signé. Quelques mots puissants. Cette femme devrait briguer la présidence.
Écrit par une femme au foyer du New Jersey et les sons comme ça! Ce est une dame coché.

«Sommes-nous menons une guerre contre le terrorisme ou ne sommes-nous? Était-il ou était-il pas commencé par des personnes islamiques qui l'a apporté à nos rives le 11 Septembre 2001?
Avait des gens de partout dans le monde, surtout des Américains, pas brutalement assassinés ce jour-là, dans le centre de Manhattan, à travers le Potomac à la capitale de notre nation et dans un champ en Pennsylvanie?

Ont près de trois mille hommes, femmes et enfants meurent d'une, de brûlure ou de concassage mort horrible ce jour-là, ou ne ont-ils pas?

Et je suis censé prendre soin qu'un exemplaire du Coran a été «profané» quand un soldat américain surmené débuté ou se il mouillé? ... Eh bien, je ne le font pas. Je ne me inquiète pas du tout.

Je vais commencer à prendre soin quand Oussama ben Laden lui-même tourne dans et se repent pour l'incinération de tous ces gens innocents sur 9/11.

Je vais me soucie le Coran quand les fanatiques dans le début soins Moyen-Orient de la Sainte Bible, la simple possession de ce qui est un crime en Arabie Saoudite

Je me inquiète lorsque ces voyous dire au monde qu'ils sont désolés pour hacher la tête de Nick Berg tout Berg a crié à travers son gargouillis réduit gorge.

Je me inquiète lorsque les lâches dits «insurgés» en Irak sortent et se battent comme des hommes au lieu de manquer de respect envers leur propre religion en se cachant dans les mosquées.

Je me inquiète lorsque les fanatiques insensés qui se font exploser à la recherche du nirvana soins sur les enfants innocents à portée de leur suicide.

Je me inquiète lorsque les médias américains cesse de prétendre que leurs libertés du Premier amendement sont en quelque sorte dérivées du droit international à la place du projet de loi de la Constitution des États-Unis des droits ..

En attendant, quand je entends une histoire sur une ébauche marine courageux en place un terroriste irakien pour obtenir des informations, sachez ceci: je ne aime pas.

Quand je vois une photo floue d'un tas de prisonniers irakiens nus qui ont été humiliés dans ce qui équivaut à un incident collège-bizutage, rassurez-vous: je ne aime pas.

Quand je vois un terroriste blessé se faire tirer dans la tête quand on lui dit de ne pas bouger parce qu'il pourrait être piégé, vous pouvez le prendre à la banque: je ne aime pas.

Quand je entends qu'un prisonnier, qui a été publié un Coran et un tapis de prière, et nourris alimentaire «spécial» qui est payé par mes impôts, se plaint que son saint livre est «mal géré, 'vous ne pouvez absolument croire en votre cœur du cœur: je ne aime pas.

Et oh, au fait, je ai remarqué que, parfois, ça se écrit «Coran» et d'autres fois de Coran. 'Eh bien, Jimmy Crack Corn-et vous l'avez deviné, je ne aime pas !!

Si vous d'accord avec ce point de vue, transmettre ce message à tous vos amis par e-mail. Tôt ou tard, il va arriver à les personnes responsables de ce comportement ridicule!

Si vous n'êtes pas d'accord, puis par tous les moyens appuyez sur le bouton de suppression. Si vous choisissez ce dernier, puis se il vous plaît ne pas se plaindre quand plus d'atrocités commises par les musulmans radicaux se produisent ici, dans notre grand pays! Et je ajouterai:

«Certaines personnes passent une vie entière se demandant se ils ont fait une différence dans le monde. Mais, les Marines ne ont pas ce problème »- Ronald Reagan

Je ai une autre citation que je voudrais ajouter et ....... Je vous souhaite à tous de l'avant cette.

«Si jamais nous oublions que nous sommes une nation sous Dieu, alors nous serons une nation passé sous '.. Aussi par Ronald Reagan

Une dernière pensée du jour:

Au cas où nous trouvons de commencer à croire tout le sentiment et la négativité anti-américaine, nous devrions nous rappeler mots Angleterre s 's Premier ministre Tony Blair "lors d'une récente interview. Interrogé par l'un de ses membres du Parlement pourquoi il croit tellement en Amérique, il a dit: «Une façon simple de prendre la mesure d'un pays est de regarder combien de vouloir dans .. Et combien veux sortir.»

Seuls deux forces déterminantes ont jamais offert de mourir pour vous:
1. Jésus-Christ
2. L'American G. I.

L'un est mort pour votre âme, l'autre pour votre liberté.

I said swedish chef. No one wants a french angry woman.

A French angry woman still sounds beautiful. A Swedish chef just sounds like "BORK! BORK! BORK!"

ABBA sucks.

Fernando !!

Helluuu.
Yuoo rung?

Fixed it!

.... Sigh...