Got an e-mail today that the John Bull English Blend pipe baccy I pick up via drunk underbid is out of stock. DaMarie offers to make it right, that they have reversed the charges to my card on file, but will also substitute a different pipe tobacco if I want.

BUT THEY ARE ALREADY GONE FOR THE DAY! THE NERVE OF THEM, LEAVING AT 5PM EASTERN. LIKE THE WEBSITE SAYS. HAVING FAMILIES, LIVES, HOBBIES AND SUCH. SHOCK! OUTRAGE! BLUSTER! WAY TOO MUCH TYPING WITH CAPS LOCK ON.

All sarcasm and pointing fun at folks who make their first post a flaming of the customer service ladies aside, I'll call them during their actual working hours and I'm sure I'll get superbly taken care of. Too bad they already shipped the 10 pack of cigars and some humi-pillows, kind of a waste to now ship the alternative pipe tobacco. But as the FOGS here know, they do their best to keep us happy.

8-[

sure, sure, he won a bid for coffee and donuts, but they were out.

I was also promised cookies, they never appeared. Im going to have to lodge a complaint with their supervisor. THE COOKIES WERE LIES.

Watch out... you just used a forbidden word.

There's a secret lodge, too?

Wonder if I can get banned while actually on the phone with a Lady of CBid?

I thought a secret handshake and a happy ending were the same.

Uh...ewwww...no.

I'd like it to be known throughout the CBID Kingdom that these ladies have provided me with literally hundreds of happy endings.

Thank you for your hands on approach ladies.😉 😉

I can't wit you lmao😂

I didn't think about "lodge" but that is a good one.......I was thinking "lies"......the ladies do not lie - they interpret their statements consistent with their core philosophy with deference to certain personalities on a perceived merit basis.

Me: What da, anyone work anymore?

Voicemail: Please wait, all agents are busy helping other disgruntled azzhats. We'll get to you when we're good and ready.

A long-time later:

Shana: "Hello, You've reached the Queen of all CBID, obviously one of the minions forwarded her phone to me. WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Me: Uhm, sorry, calling for Damarie."

Shana: "Fine, go away."

ring ring ring ring ring

Damarie, slurrily: "Hewoo (hic), CBid cushtomer servish."

Me: (Did they have a 3 Martini Marine Corps Birthday lunch, or what?) Hiya Damarie, it's Bur/JA about my pipe baccy order."

Damaria: "Oh yesh, hey aren't you FGMs N00B?"

Me: (oh no) Yes I am.

Damaria: (dreamily) "Ah, FGM, Ray-ray, the Thonginator"

[recording shows a pause here.

A very long pause

A very long, very awkward pause]

Shana, in the background: "Dammit Damarie, you've got the Thonginator thread open in too many tabs, the site is about to crash! Get back to work, girl!"

Damaire: "Sorry, Bur, I'll put together a sampler and get it out to you. We probably won't have the John Bull Proper English Blend in any more."

BWAHAHAHA

OK, I may have taken a few liberties with the transcript! Good chatting with Shana and Damarie, and only the last line it true. As usual, better than expected customer service from the CS team.