So this panda walks into a bar and orders a nice meal. When the waiter comes to fill his water glass the panda pulls a gun and shoots him. The head chef comes out of the kitchen and asks the panda why he did that. The panda simply says "Because I am a Panda." And then he leaves. So the chef googles pandas and google says that pandas "eats, shoots, and leaves."

People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.

A G, B-flat, and a D walk into a bar and sit down.

Bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors."

Not the best this week but it's all I've got. 🍺

If you're an English Language nerd, there is a very entertaining book "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" based off of this very joke. I bought it at an airport and read it bouncing around on airplanes. Pretty good book. 😁

Freak.

It's not the years. It's the mileage. 🌫

They're not my jokes. My brother sends them out to me and a few other guys every Thursday. I think he gets them from his motorcycle racing forum. Generally, they are better than these. 🍺

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively.

"I would like it infrequently ", she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered,

"Is that one word or two?"

Thanks Krazee

and #14...there's a lot of that going around...

and #14...there's a lot of that going around...

You requesting???