NEW YORK, NY—The New York Times has finally addressed the sexual assault allegations against presidential candidate Joe Biden. After an in-depth investigation, they’ve found that Biden is a Democrat. Furthermore, they found that he is the assumed candidate running against President Trump. With these two facts in mind, they’ve concluded there is no possible way the charges can be true.

“While the charges of sexual assault by Biden’s former aide, Tara Reade, are something we would call extremely credible in any other situation,” reads the article, “our investigation revealed that legitimizing them would be politically unhelpful to Democrats. Thus we conclude the allegations are false for reasons we will fill in later -- unless we can just go back to not talking about them and not give any reasons at all. We also find it absolutely necessary to consider Biden’s habit of inappropriately touching women to be ‘charming.’”

This is quite different from The New York Times’s investigation into the charges against then-Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, in which the Times found that Kavanaugh was being appointed by a Republican and thus any and all charges against him “must absolutely be true.”

- The Babylon Bee

please say you knew this...


The Babylon Bee is a news satire website that publishes satirical articles on religion, politics, current events, and well-known public figures. With intentional irony, the site describes itself as "the world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims."

#metoobyebye

#alyssamillanolookingforcros

#notfunnyunlesspartiallytrue

He knows. He just agrees with it lol.

Yes... and yes!!

No evidence at all against Kavanaugh... no witnesses to corroborate (and some who flat denied it).

This chick was his aide... and has 7 other people to corroborate. But the NYT vilified Kavanaugh and then said in a tweet about Biden -- they can find "no pattern of misconduct aside from inappropriate hugs, kisses, and touching". A tweet which they have since deleted.

Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other
When I'm alone all by myself
You're out with someone else
Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other...

😟

Joe can’t remember what happened, so too bad.

Bernie quit like the commie rat he is and now Tara is green lit for “suicide”.

I won't believe it until I see the check signed by Michael Cohen

Michael Cohen paid Biden for sex..?? 😕

I don't know whether I believe it or not, either, Frank.

What I do know is that two men were accused of sexual misconduct by women... years after the fact... and one got torched by the media and democrat politicians while the other got a complete pass.

Do you not find the two different reactions troubling?

Al Franken may disagree a bit.

As o think about it maybe trump and Biden should both drop out like franken did

Let’s just start fresh.

Well, i hadn't really thought about it but i guess I could do it... 😟

Al Franken was not part of this equation.

Can we agree that between Kavanaugh and Biden, the reactions were completely different for the same accusation?

Yeah one had corroboration and knew the dates and place it actually took place.

I think the better comparison is Biden and trump or franken to be honest. In the political arena it can all be out there and folks can decide for themselves and judge. And there is time to research and report. Let the chips fall. And if there isn’t much there that’s that.

Kavenaugh wasn’t ever really judged he was just crammed through to a lifetime appointment by the good ol boys club in the senate similar to the impeachment “trial”. The process was quickly forced through sheer politics and needed a quicker flashpoint as a result. I personally felt it was unfair to all involved including him.

I am interested if there is any “there” there on the Biden thing or if it’s another birther or swift boat type of thing. The difference is there is more time to figure this one out. And unlike many in here I do not believe the press as a whole would cover up proof if they had it and they are looking for it.

To be the first to prove that or to get an exclusive would bring too much coin and fame. That’s what really drives them. They’d sell their mamma for it. To think party allegiance means that much to them would mean they really believe in something..., and that is fake news.

Let me put in one caveat. I’m talking legitimate news reporters not the wwe type news entertainers. They will absolutely follow their agenda because that is their bread and butter.

And those soulless hypocrites will absolutely flip how they approach it and they will swap sides from what they did before. Don’t humor any of them with any sort of legitimacy.

At least trump and the decency to admit to sexually assaulting women on tape. [sarcasm]

Not giving Biden a pass on any thing he may have done. If he did what she says he did; he should quit the race. 🌫

“They let you”

Key phrase always left out of the famous quote, and repeated by people who want one narrative.

I've got to agree with tW. Why bother comparing Biden to Kavenaugh when you have an easy side-by-side comparison of Biden and Trump? There's no real need to go through the mental gymnastics necessary to compare a presidential candidate with a Supreme Court Judge appointee when you literally have a second presidential candidate standing right next to them.