Speyside
Sunday, August 16, 2020 9:45:42 PM
I will try not to breathe

I can hold my head still with my hands at my knees

These eyes are the eyes of the old, shiver and fold

I will try not to breathe

This decision is mine

I have lived a full life

And these are the eyes that I want you to remember, oh

I need something to fly over my grave again

I need something to breathe

I will try not to burden you

I can hold these inside

I will hold my breath

Until all these shivers subside

Just look in my eyes

I will try not to worry you

I have seen things that you will never see

Leave it to memory me

I shudder to breathe

I want you to remember, oh (you will never see)

I need something to fly (something to fly)

Over my grave again (you will never see)

I need something to breathe (something to breathe)

Baby, don't shiver now

Why do you shiver? (I will see things you will never see)

I need something to fly (something to fly)

Over my grave again (I will see things you will never see)

I need something to breathe, oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh

I will try not to worry you

I have seen things that you will never see

Leave it to memory me

Don't dare me to breathe

I want you to remember oh (you will never see)

I need something to fly (something to fly)

Over my grave again (you will never see)

I need something to breathe (something to breathe)

Baby, don't shiver now

Why do you shiver now? (I will see things you will never see)

I need something to breathe (something to breathe)

(I have seen things you will never see)

I want you to remember

A friend of mine took her life today. She was dying a horrific death. She previously told me she refused to burden her family. Good bye my friend I will miss you.

frankj1
Sunday, August 16, 2020 9:57:13 PM
you've been surrounded by this!

I wish I could help...

Mcdanielsamuel
Sunday, August 16, 2020 10:34:33 PM

A friend of mine took her life today. She was dying a horrific death. She previously told me she refused to burden her family. Good bye my friend I will miss you.

Speyside wrote:

Keep reaching out for support. Let me know if we can help.

tonygraz
Sunday, August 16, 2020 10:39:44 PM
Be content that she did what she wanted. For many years when I was asked who my doctor was, I said Kevorkian.
Palama
Monday, August 17, 2020 6:13:59 AM
Sorry to hear about your friend Allen.

Prayers for her, her family and friends like you. 🙏

Krazeehorse
Monday, August 17, 2020 9:24:40 AM
My thoughts are with you Spey.
Speyside
Monday, August 17, 2020 9:50:33 AM
Thanks all. I really needed to express this yesterday. Tony, I am. Right now this is more about my pain and the pain of her family for me. I am relieved that here horror is over. Fortunaltly I have a psychologist and psychiatrist appointment pre scheduled for tomorrow for other issues. I have many different difficult emotions to deal with right now. Now of them are a buckle up buttercup situation. I have had to be the rock of the family on a number of issues for over 2 years. It is time for me to deal. Fortunately I am not in a dangerous place.
CarsonTheCat
Monday, August 17, 2020 9:54:06 AM
Spey, I'm so very sorry for your loss. At least she is no longer in any pain, and went on her own terms. Still, very sad to lose a friend. Thoughts and prayers are with you, and her family.

Gene363
Monday, August 17, 2020 12:35:21 PM
My condolences.

This NPR story may help: Deconstructing 'Myths About Suicide'

https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126365907 

tonygraz
Monday, August 17, 2020 1:06:02 PM
Tomorrows appointments are a good idea to make you feel better about things.
Stogie1020
Monday, August 17, 2020 1:26:38 PM
Sorry you have to go through this, Spey. Hopefully, time eases the anguish for you.
madspackler
Monday, August 17, 2020 5:19:37 PM
I’m sorry for the pain of your loss Spey. Suicide affects those who remain behind more than we ever want to admit to ourselves. If we can be your crutches in this time of need, please reach out.directly. That is what friends/BOTL do.

Sending prayers your way.

delta1
Monday, August 17, 2020 9:10:28 PM
heartbreaking stuff...peace to you and her many other survivors, Spey...

I will contemplate this uniquely human behavior as I have my cigar tonight...I'm sure the thought has crossed many of our minds

Callewis
Monday, August 17, 2020 10:26:36 PM
Sorry for your loss, prayers for you and the family.
NapalmMan67
Tuesday, August 18, 2020 8:36:06 AM
Sorry to hear Allen. Condolences to the family and you.

.

Speyside
Tuesday, August 18, 2020 12:18:42 PM
Thanks all. I am doing better. I have since found out she did not commit suicide. She chose when and where to die. She went to her favorite place, a beautiful peaceful place in the high desert and died of her illness.

I am working with a few professionals to fully process this and not hold in my grief.

delta1
Tuesday, August 18, 2020 2:23:11 PM
when confronting an incurable terminal disease that robs one of any quality of life, reducing one to a joylous, miserable and painful road to death, shouldn't assisted suicide be a humane and moral option?

if we do otherwise, insisting the people we love continue battling and stay with us, are we selfishly prolonging suffering and inflicting pain on a loved one?

Smooth light
Tuesday, August 18, 2020 3:25:38 PM
A lady of wisdom,guidance, and love when passes; is like a bakery that burn down, will always remember the sweetness and keep it alive in our hearts forevermore. Hope it helps speyside
tonygraz
Tuesday, August 18, 2020 3:53:30 PM
Not too smooth and definitely a lightweight bot.
Abrignac
Tuesday, August 18, 2020 4:42:44 PM
It is in times like this where I can’t find words to convey my thoughts. My condolences Allen.
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