PAWTUCKET, RI—Hasbro announced today the replacement of its popular G.I. Joe action figure with an updated version that's much more fitting in the current year: G.I. Pat, a genderless take on the action hero.

After public outcry over the extremely masculine G.I. Joe, Hasbro finally caved and agreed to remove the super-macho action hero from store shelves.

"Now you know your gender identity -- and knowing is half the battle!" shouts an actor playing G.I. Pat in a commercial for the new toy as he struggles to light a Molotov cocktail and picks up a brick with the utmost effort. "Now let's go murder some cops!"

G.I. Pat comes with a Molotov cocktail, a brick, and a cute miniature copy of The Communist Manifesto. You can accessorize your G.I. Pat with genderless clothes, androgynous accessories, and fun equipment like smartphones that just play asinine TikTok videos and social justice lectures all day for your miniature action hero.

Conservatives immediately complained on social media, screaming that losing G.I. Joe would signal the end of the Republic. Hasbro then flip-flopped, caving to conservatives and announcing G.I. Joe would be made even more masculine under the new brand "MISTER HE-MAN G.I. JOE MURDER YOUR FACE ARMY MAN."

In related news, He-Man and She-Ra are to be renamed Them-An and They-Ra respectively

Was it here that someone commented that Barbie has a lot of nice stuff for a woman that can't bend her knees?

you have to hand it to her...

Hasbro has caved on their original plans to make Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head genderless, instead making their sexual identity less prominent on the packaging.😕

"However, much of the confusion was created by Hasbro itself, when the company's senior vice president and general manager said the following in an interview with Fast Company: "Kids want to be able to represent their own experiences. The way the brand currently exists—with the 'Mr.' and 'Mrs.'—is limiting when it comes to both gender identity and family structure."

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/hasbro-says-that-potato-head-will-keep-mr-after-outcry-over-gender-inclusive-line/ar-BB1e3lbp 

Pelosi and the Democrats are outraged at the plans, but their one consolation is children will still be able to use their imagination to create a gay family structure and transgender Potato Kids.

What next? No Big Mac? Burger King? Maybe they could say the Burger King is a Queen. Uncle Joe will have to change his catch phrase to "c'mon person or thing". Man has got to go.

I don't know about you guys, but my G.I. Joes never came with d*ck's.

They were genderless before being genderless was cool...

TW superglued a d*ck on his.

Superglue hasn't been around that long.... 😟

I find it questionable that some people have such fascination with sex on dolls.

I find it fascinating that you have become bored with yours...

is it OK to superglue a d;ick on Barbie without her consent?

It would be ok with Ken. He comes in his own box.

^^^
any question why this man is number 1 on the must read lists?

Pat....

Was a great skit when SNL WAS RELEVANT...