There's a lot of fake news out there about Libertarians. Honestly, we're not sure why everyone hates those guys. Libertarianism is the only logically consistent political philosophy, and it's held primarily by crazy people.

But The Bee is here to set the record straight once and for all about our weird, drug and Bitcoin-obsessed friends with this handy explainer.

Founding: Libertarianism was officially founded in 1773 when the British colonists were like "A tax on tea? Blimey, mate, that's bloody mental!" After dumping tea in the harbor, they launched fireworks, ate barbecue, and debated Ayn Rand.

Beliefs: It's mostly about wanting to smoke weed and run around naked while shooting guns in the air, we think. There's something in there about freedom, liberty, and the God-given right to defend yourself and your property, too, but honestly, it's mostly about the weed. And buying Bitcoin. While smoking weed.

Common symbols and mascots: The porcupine, the Gadsden flag, dank memes, Dogecoin.

Prominent proponents: Ron Paul, that weird guy who's always smoking weed in your drama class, Satan.

Prominent critics: Republicans, Democrats, anyone who loves war and hates freedom. Also, people who think weed is stinky.

Key texts: Atlas Shrugged (we think, no one's actually ever read it), The Law, The Freakin' CONSTITUTION, the book of Judges.

How do you spot a Libertarian? You can usually smell their dank kush before you can see them. But if your sense of smell is still all wack from COVID, look for guys carting around books from the 1700s and shouting, "AM I BEING DETAINED?!" at everyone from police officers to Arby's cashiers.

What is the Libertarian Party? A joke.

What are the future prospects of Libertarianism? Not good. Honestly, people who believe in liberty might all be rounded up and arrested by the time we finish typing this sent

NOT SATIRE: The Sphinxing Rabbit: Her Sovereign Majesty is the first book in what will be a series of books about the freedom and sovereignty of the individual. It can be understood and appreciated by children, adults, and everyone in between! It's available on Amazon in print or ebook versions.

A beautifully illustrated and delightful read for any time, but especially for Easter coming up!

Is this another sac bee thing?

I think this guy just called me a Libertarian.

I’ll call you something....

😟

Those Bee libertarians are satirizing those stereotypes that progressive peoples like you try to make libertarians out to be.
Any resemblance to you is purely coincidental, maybe only because you like weed too much.

Mostly the weed... and playing crypto... while smokin weed.


Ya... that.

On another note RayRay... if you don't smoke weed and play crypto you're not a libertarian... that's just the way it is.

Well since you continue to perpetuate the sterotype, I guess I'm not a libertarian by your definition. I don't play crypto and I haven't had weed in a long tiime. although I did do plenty when I younger though...does that count?

No, the only true Libertarians smoke weed, play crypto, and smoke weed while playing crypto.

Hell, by that definition, I'm the only mother f*ckin Libertarian on the site.

I kind of suspected you were stoned all the time in your bunker.

Cryptocurrency requires a large amount of electricity and is contributing to global warming.

Well, it's more like a personal oasis... and you forgot the crypto.

But have you tried getting stoned while playing crypto?

Totally worth complete anhilation.

...

And my car is a gas guzzler... which is probably an understatement.

I'm not doing a good job reinforcing RayRay's progressive image of me.