And jones may use your picture for a video.... so there is always that

My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty

Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee

And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee

uhhhh

Ive got the big brown nose i got the big brown nose i gots the burgundy flows

Stop whatcha doin'

'Cause I'm about to ruin

The image and the style that ya used to

I look funny

But yo I'm makin' money, see

So yo world I hope you're ready for me

Now gather round

I'm the new fool in town

And my sound's laid down by the Underground

I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf

So just let me introduce myself

My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty

Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee

And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee

I'm steppin' tall, y'all

And just like Humpty Dumpty

You're gonna fall when the stereos pump me

I like to rhyme

I like my beats funky

I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy

I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack

But sometimes I get ridiculous

I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice

Hey yo fat girl, come here--are ya ticklish?

Yeah, I called ya fat

Look at me, I'm skinny

It never stopped me from gettin' busy

I'm a freak

I like the girls with the boom

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

I'm crazy

Allow me to amaze thee

They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me

I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants

And I even got my own dance

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump

Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump

Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"

That's all right 'cause I get things cookin'

Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me

But ya can't get near me

I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, be

All the girls they adore me

Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere

'Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear

My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed

Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid

I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge

Both how I'm livin' and my nose is large

I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid

I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid

I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it

I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits

Also told ya that I like to bite

Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write

All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance

And now I'm gonna do my dance

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump

Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump

Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all

Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here

Oh, yeah!

Now that I told ya a little bit about myself

Let me tell ya a little bit about this dance

It's real easy to do--check it out

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken

Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'

Crazy wack funky

People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty

That's all right 'cause my body's in motion

It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion

Anyone can play this game

This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name

No two people will do it the same

Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain

Humpin', funkin', jumpin'

Jig around, shakin' ya rump

And when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump

Tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump

Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump

Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump

Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Let's get stoopid!

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump

Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump

Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Oh, yeah, come on and break it down

Once again, the Underground is in the house

I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world

Keep on doin' the Humpty Dance

And to the ladies

Peace and humptiness forever

😱

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Excuse me trooper, will you be needing any packets

Today? Yo, be , don't be throwin' on my jacket, ok?

Cool, just trying to get your attention

So you can take a look at this invention

Now peep these, I got some more in my jacket

[Man, what are these, condoms?] Uh uh: sex packets

It's like a pill, you can either chew it up

Or like an alka-seltzer, dissolve it in a cup

And get this: see the girl on the cover?

You black out, and she becomes your lover

[You're trippin] no, I'm serious, these are authentic

[Yeah, well I don't take hallucenogenics]

Wrong again, my man, this is way more real

But since you know everything, I'll make someone else a deal

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Three for ten dollars, it can't hurt to try it

[Well what exactly do I get?]

Well read what it says, look at the picture [Bet

It says Chinese girl, age 17, waist 24, hips 33,

Hmmm, this one here says young black virgin

Man this is crazy, I'm gonna have to splure an

Get me a few of these things. How long do they last?]

Well it depends, let's see

These cheap ones here are ten minutes

But these are extra power, they last about a half an hour

And these here sell for bout 40

'Cause you get two girls [Yeah it says orgy]

Right, and if you're married, it's no big deal

You're not cheating at all, you're just poppin a pill

And if your wife's got a headache and wants to hit the sack

It's cool, take a packet fool

Biochemically compacted sexual affection

Now here, take a look at my selection

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

[OK, I want these two boxes of three

And give my blondy here, and that one that says orgy

And, by the way, I need something for my woman]

Sure, I got guy packets [Cool, give me some of em]

Now let me tell you how to take it:

Either sit of lie down, and you really should be naked

Otherwise you're gonna mess up your clothes, know what I mean?

This is more then just a dream

It's very realistic and it's gonna blow your mind

So be careful: only take one at a time

And never take one behind the wheel

You'll black out and hit a pole [Cool, let's make the deal]

These are 40, these are 80, and this one here is 10

Just give me a hundred dollars, I'll call it even

But don't pull your money out yet, see

There's one or two narcs in this area that sweat me

Over here, [Yeah, this looks kinda cool

20, 40, 60, 80 a hundred, shmoove]

Here's my number, in case you need to reach me again

And remember, you need to be as safe as you can

There's only one thing safer then using your hand

Dial that beeper number, and call the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man

NINE!