An Australian is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes.

The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch?
What's so special about it?"

The Aussie explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies,
"Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!''

The Aussie smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody things running about an hour fast, can I buy you a drink?

---

I've always thought

"Are you wearing space underwear?"

"Cause your azz is outa this world"

was really funny

could you use an extra hundred.

ok, rick wins

"Then I guess a BJ in the parking lot is out of the question?"

ed. no confidence ......not good

Ricks reply was kinda like him.

Short and to the point!

LOL

hehe. That's a line from so old 80's spring break movie that I can't remember. I never had the guts to say anything like that. Good thing, I'd probably get beaten for saying something like that.

edsbar60

it came out of the mouth of paul williams
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Williams_ (songwriter)

he was in the planet of the apes and one night he came on the carson show in his ape make up and straight faced, he sang "my funny valentine."

guy - "would you like to dance?"

girl - "With you?! I don't think so."

guy - " Oh you must have misunderstood me. Did you think I asked if you wanted to dance? I said, 'You look FAT in those PANTS!'"

works every time.

"I don't want to own you, I just want to borrow you for 15 minutes."

I swear by all that is holy that I heard somebody use that line.

I was in a bar once, with a friend from HS.
As a looker was walking to the toilets, he asks her "wanna see me lick my eyebrows?"

The look she gave him makes me laugh, even today.

are we talking about pick up lines to use on women?

Do you come here often, or would you prefer more privacy?

whoo do you use your pick up lines on, jbu?

^ The willing!

'You only live once; if you do it right, once is enough'

'I am out of milk and coffee'

Excuse me, my ears are freezing. Can I borrow your thighs for a minute?

Hey baby, wanna go halves on a ****?