^
well said ferd, shoot me between the eye's don't stab me in the back...

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" (another Tom Waits)

"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature."
Dave Barry

"I've an 'ole in me pocket."

Ringo Starr
Yellow Submarine

Korn...I think that was an old WC Fields line "...full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotamy.."

BTW:
"I got somethin' to say....
it's better to burn out...
than to fade away!"
Def Leppard (and the movie Highlander)

I didn't read all of your entries, so I don't know for sure if this has been said....

Fox Mulder to Skully - "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you."

speaking of Ermma Bombeck
how about "The grass is always greener over the septic tank"

"You can call me father,you can call me Jacob, you can call me Jake, You can even call me a no good son of a bitch. But if you ever call me daddy again we're gonna finish this fight"
The Duke to Patrick Wayne (his real son) in Big Jake
The only time I think he ever cursed in a movie