39 Signs You’re A Twink
Alex Hughes | October 28, 2012 - 3:55 pm
What’s the true definition of a twink you may ask? Besides being the homosexual male’s youngest and most hairless sub-species, twinks have a couple of other traits and here’s a quick guide to determine if you can wear the twink badge of (dis)honor. You may be a twink if:
You’ve seen every cycle of America’s Next Top Model at least three times.
You worship Honey Boo Boo and mourn the loss of gay icon Glitzy the Pig.
A typical lunch is a can of Red Bull.
You wear Lady Gaga’s perfume “Fame.”
You can do makeup better than any star of Teen Mom.
You own a jockstrap but you don’t play sports.
You have a One Direction poster.
You respond to all of your tweets with a gif from RealityTVGifs.
You only talk to people who have iPhones.
You watch everything Bravo-related: re-runs of Kathy Griffin’s My Life on The D-List, the Real Housewives, Watch What Happens Live, and Flipping Out.
You’ve had sushi at least once this week.
You want to go to a taping of Anderson Cooper’s talk show.
It’s never too early to start drinking.
Your vocabulary mostly consists of ratchet, slay, stan, twerk, HBIC, flaw-free, and kiki (a few of which should be banned).
You wish you were on RuPaul’s Drag Race.
You know what TOWIE stands for.
You’ve ordered a salad at McDonald’s.
You refuse to wear underwear that cost less than $20.
You’re a Very Important Beauty Insider at Sephora.
You miss The Hills on a daily basis.
Your go-to drink is vodka.
Taylor Swift’s music makes you feel emotional.
The last book you read was Kris Jenner’s memoir.
You don’t have time for basic bitches.
You watch The X-Factor just for Britney Spears.
You wear sunglasses indoors.
You’d never be caught dead in a Sears except to buy something from the Kardashian Kollection.
Your blood type is Starbucks low-fat iced coffee.
You have at least one Hannah Montana song on your iPod.
You wax your ass.
You have an opinion on Skinnygirl.
You can name at least one of the Cocky Boys.
You wish you were Lindsay Lohan’s BFF.
You had lip-syncing contests with yourself.
You bleach your ****.
TMZ is your Bible.
Tiffany Pollard (New York) is your alter-ego.
You have a star tattoo.
You know every single line of Mean Girls.
