Last night I ordered a whole meal in French
Even the waiter was amazed... it was a Chinese restaurant.

my wife told me she wanted plastic surgery.
Did it myself, Cut up all her credit cards.

Prolly not a good Dad joke for youngins

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

I told my Doctor. I couldn't afford the operation,
he offered to touch -up the X-rays.

What do you call a cow that can't give milk ?
An "udder failure".

How do you make a hormone ?
Tweak her nipples.

How do you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer ?
The taste.

my girlfriend is on a seafood diet.
Eats everything, she sees