As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be good Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!" The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "especially the really bright uniforms and all of the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What on earth do you mean?"

"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: "Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back."

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said,

"Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife.

"What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied. -

Her doctor recommended that she see the well-known Chinese sex therapist, so off she went to see Dr Chang.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose."

The woman did as she was told.

"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room."

Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."

So she did.

Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates".

Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied,

"Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass

"How 'bout some love tonight, honey?" he asked.

"I can't tonight," she replied, "I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow."

The guy's a little pissed off as he rolls back over to his side of the bed. A few seconds later, he rolls back over and taps his wife on the shoulder again.

"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?"

HaHa