my grandfather told me a story that had been handed down for generations.

it seems two jews raised plants and bushes and trees. one winter a heavy storm hit and all the plants and bushes were destroyed by the cold. the trees did not look so good and they were sure they would die in a month or so. one of the enterprising jews cut all the trees down, nailed a cross of 1X2's on the bottom for support and sold them to the goyim as decorations for the holidays.

the other entrprising jew manufactured breakable decorations to hang on the tree insuring an everlasting business in tree decorations.

and that is why we buy dead trees at $2.00 a foot every year.

And if I, as a goy boy in good standing, told that story, would have the B'nai Brith down on my ass so fast my head would swim. lol

But I liked the story.

Like so many other Christian traditions, the modern Christmas tree evolved from a variety of cultures including pagans ... use of the evergreen during the winter solstice dates back well more than 2000 years ... the Egyptians brought green date palm leaves into their homes to symbolize life's triumph over death ... the Druids used evergreens during mysterious winter solstice rituals. Holly and mistletoe were seen as symbols of eternal life, and they placed evergreen branches over doors to ward off evil spirits ... early Germans and Scandinavians brought evergreen trees inside their homes or placed them just outside their doors to show their hope in the forthcoming spring.

And, in what sounds more familiar to what is done today, the Romans celebrated a winter fest called Saturnalia (Saturnus was their god of agriculture). They decorated their houses with greens and lights, exchanged gifts, gave coins for prosperity, pastries for happiness, and lamps to light one's journey through life.

Just remember. The tree skirt goes around the tree and not your waist.

Yo Rick:

As a half Jew who was raised Catholic I find your post offensive to say the least. I know you don't care about God or Christmas but most of us do. If your post was meant to be funny, you failed miserably.

JonR

Does this now open the forum to Jewish jokes?

Rick, $2 per foot??? I wish I could find a decent one at that price. They start at $4/ft and quickly go up for anything decent. Most good 6 footers are $35 out here.

The REAL reason for the tree?
So Santa can find his way to your house!

Actually, that's a better price for a decent 6' tree than you'd find here in CA ... I'm guessing Rick hasn't priced a tree in a few years ... make that more than a few, because I paid more than that for the last 'real' tree I got and we've had a pretty damn nice looking fake one for several years ...

Hmmmm ... now THERE's an interesting thought ... if those Druids were right about evergreens warding off evil spirits, will my fake tree fool the evil spirits?

SteveS,
Plastic trees ward off distilled spirits.

sh*t ... who knew?

Good one, Marty!

Yo Jon, do you realize that you and Rick are BOTH half Jewish?
What are the odds of that?! LOL

bloody spaniard, so if we combine them both, we'll get a Jewish guy who does nothing but argue with himself?

we buy christmas tree's because we don't live on a farm where we can go cut down our own ;0)

Hog

^Don't mean to brag but I'm growing my own out of a mug. In another 20 years, I'll have a free tree.


Scary thought, isn't it cexshun?
He would walk around slapping himself.

blood

Rick

LMAO at your story!

Charlie

Rick, just for you, another Jewish Christmas story:

Rivkah Green from Denver decided to go on vacation to Miami in the 1920's. Upon arriving she attempted to check her baggage and settle into a quality hotel.
The concierge told her, "Sorry, there's no vacancy." Just then, a man and his wife suddenly checked out.
Rivkah exclaimed, "Thank God! You now have a room."
"Sorry", the man behind the counter replied, "This hotel is restricted."
"And what does that mean?" she asked him.
"Jews aren't allowed here!"
"Well what makes you think I'm Jewish?" Rivkah shot back.
"I know you are!"
"Well, I'm not! I'm a Catholic! " she insisted.
"So tell me, " the man replied, "Did God have a son?"
"Sure."
"What was his name?"
"Jesus."
"And where was he born?"
"In Bethlehem, in a stable."
"And WHY was he born there?"
"Because a shmuck like you wouldn't rent his parents a room!"

"Oy vey," said the father, "what have I done!"

He took his problem to his best friend. "Ike," he said, "I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian. What can I do?"

"Funny you should ask," said Ike. "I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi."

They explained their problem to the rabbi.

"Funny you should ask," said the rabbi. "I, too sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. What is happening to our young people?"

They prayed, telling the Lord about their sons.

As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the heavens:

"Funny you should ask," said the voice. "I, too, sent my son to Israel..."

Why Christmas Trees are better than Women

A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.

A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.

When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.

A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.

A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.

A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.

Cex and blood, that there is some funny sheeyit! LMAO, Thanks, Erik

LMAO Wolfgang!

JonR

go find another rope. the one you have been using is wet enought.