After many years of thinking and searching, I have been unable to find any sort of spark between my wife and me. We decided that we have grown much too far apart to fix it, and have decided to go our separate ways. This was mainly my decision, but that doesn't make it any easier. My wife is taking the kids to live in Dallas, where she has support from her older sister and one of her younger brothers. I know I can make it through this, but it will be very tough. Thank you for listening.

Tar,

Yes you will and you will be very happy in a few months! Been there, done that two times, and trust me on this....you will really enjoy yourself!

Charlie

Jason,
you've got my email Bro... anytime you need to talk.. hollor!!!

Hog

stay stong my brother, may the force be with you cuz...

Divorce isn't easy on anyone.

It would kill me to be seperated from my kids.

Will remember you all in my prayers.

-Wolfy

hang in there and keep your head up! it will be fine and you will manage but it will take time.

hugs Tar. You will be in my prayers hun. Take it one day at a time is all that any of us can do.

Tarheel, I don't know you so forgive me if I speak out of turn. You posted publicly. I'll assume you wanted some feedback.

Unless there are some real serious issues involved (physical abuse, habitual infidelity, etc.), you may want to consider seeking guidance from your priest or a marriage counselor. I saw the photo of your newborn & it tugs at my heartstrings to think that you may be out of your children's lives forever.

Think about it. The children are owed that much.
Take care brother.

i agree with bloody


"spark"......there is supposed to be a "spark"?

i thought marriage was a job....a full time job.....

seriously though.....
the grass is greener on the other side, ALWAYS. i have been there and will NEVER go there again......think long and hard about this....it sounds like a very lonely life away from your children, to me.

prayers will be sent

gerilynn

i hope i did not sound like a smarta$$, that was not how it was supposed to sound.

Listen to Bloody and Mrsdelta... I think they are on to something. Below is a phone number that REALLY helped my brother. Even if it is true that life does go on, just don't throw in the towel yet. (even if she is in Dallas now.)

Praying for you in Sacramento
John

http://www.family.org 
Counseling Department
Call (719) 531-3400, ext. 7700, Monday-Friday 9 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Mountain Time.

Ditto,

I gave up looking out for myself when I took on the responsibility of raising a child. I have a wonderful wife, but she doesn't share many of my passions.......no matter. I grew up in a broken home, and I grew up well; but I think often of what difference there would be in my life if I would have had two parents in my life. If you must go thru with this (and I can empathise...you'll have more fun) be sure to stay as ACTIVE AS POSSIBLE in your children's lives. Become friends with your wife, stay close to your kids. You mean more to them than you will ever know.........I know.

Jason,

My heart broke when I read your posting.

I feel horrible for you and the family.

Even though I personally cannot fathom what is taking place in your life, I can't judge you on your decision, and I'm sure you've given it your careful consideration to come to this point.

I sincerely wish all of you the best and hope that you think through what you are about to do ONE more time.

One of my oldest and dearest friends did the same thing. With 2 kids, she was separated from her husband for about 1 1/2 years upon her initiation of it.

Well, after time apart, the "dating" scence, and a geniune 110% effort to get counseling on her husband's part, God bless 'em, they are together again for the past 4 years. And happy.

We all have our BLIPS. Even our BLOOPS. But to not have a spark...that's tough brother. I'm at a loss here. If it's any consolation, it may be a hormonal thing on her part...I can relate to that. But if it's on your side, dude, if you go out to "find" what you are looking for or want...you just may find it. And then find that it's not what you need. Empty.

If it's another woman, or if your looking for that sort of thing, it reminds me of a saying that I heard, "someone, somewhere is sick and tired of her bull****"...or something to that effect. Be careful!

You have a history with your family...don't let a "SPARK" (or lack thereof) end it all.

I'll step down off of my soap box now : )

Please consider our words and re-think this.

My thoughts and prayers are indeed with you. I pray for clarity of thoughts for you in the coming days. May God's will be done.

Love you, man...hang in there!

Marla

Ps...on a funny note...and speaking of sparks...

I went to the doctor last week and needed an X-ray. The X-ray Tech asked me if I could possibly be pregant.

Well, what flashed thru my mind in an instant was

1. NO, I've had a hysterectomy...
2. I'd have to call him "Jesus"...(see number 1)
3. Am I *THAT* fat???

But, what I responded was, "I'm married"...meaning don't you have to have SEX to get pregnant!?

Sorry if this is inappropriate, but that's just me...

:)

Marla

#1: Stay close to your kids--emotionally, AND geographcially--whatever it takes.

#2: Stay busy. Sitting by yourself in a dark room and just thinking about things can lead to no good.

Marla: you should have said, "That's inconceivable!!!!"

Jason: As hard as it is, keep a little sense of humor to help carry you through.

John

If there is any way to make a go of it, your kids will be much better off with you than without you.

bloody spaniard is right on message. toby and i have had many moments where nothing would work except killing the other one. counseling was needed. counseling works. both of you have to work to make it work.

without toby, my life would have been useless.

if the counseling does not work, maybe it was not meant to be, but give it all the chances you can.

at our age, we are happy enough to get a spark from a lighter.

the fire may be banked, but it is never out.

May you find peace in your life...good luck...

i would have to agree with a lot of the folks here and say that right now you should be focused on your children. if you have to put your feelings on the back burner for a while then that is what has to be done. you owe your children that much. they deserve the mom and the dad being there for them.
stogie