(I grabbed this off another BB'd)
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on.
I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

Enjoy!!!!
Hog

good ramblings.

Speaking of retired....

I've been retired a little over a year now. Just the other day, one of my ex-collegues called me up and asked my advice on a matter of high importance and wanted to know how I would have handled it.

Having been in that situation more times than I care to remember, and knowing that regardless of experience, these situations are never really the same, I did what any wise man would do.

I asked him: "Who is was placed in charge when I left?"

"I am in charge now".

"Who is directly below you in the chain?"

"That would be Phil."

"Have Phil handle it and when it's all over, tell him what a good job he did. By the way, I'm running low on beer and cigars. I need to run some errands and order some cigars, but good luck and I hope everything goes well. Give the guys my best and...Oh ya, I'll be watching the Super Bowl on Sunday. What are you guys doin?....OOOOHHHH Sorry... I forgot you'll be preparing for that insepection. Let me know how it goes. I'm with ya all the way."

Spoken like a true man with nothing to do and happy about it.

That's called "Grooming your subordinates" not "passing the buck".

Delegation at it's finest.

"I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on.
I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener."

Call me redneck, but a garage door opener is more of a status symbol than a cell phone to me. I mean, what are you gonna do, call someone from your car to come open the garage door................sob......I don't even have a garage.

Redneck !

You can talk Herfsnipe,

But do YOU have a washer on your front porch and three cars on blocks??.............I think not.

LOL

I was raised in Central Florida, east coast, which was somewhat progressive. It wasn't until I moved out here to rural SW PA til I begin to take satisfaction in my lack of sophistication. Git'er done!

and you did say "call me redneck"...

Actually, a washer wouldn't fit on my front porch. I'd have to move the old torn sofa, coffee table with three legs and 6 phone books, portable B/W TV with rabbit ears and stacks of empty beer cans. The only thing holding it up is the three coon hounds underneath chained to the spare tire filled with cement.

Ramble on my man, Im with you cuz...

LMAO!

I love it!
15 more years till I get the company watch.

ash