myash07
  • myash07
  • Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter
Thursday, March 3, 2005 2:49:00 PM
Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals

throughout the office have been using foul language during the course of

normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from

some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no

longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being

able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been

provided here so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue

in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF: Why the f____ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.

INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,

Human Resources

ducati996
Thursday, March 3, 2005 3:23:00 PM
LOL....the capital equipment company I work for would shut down if we had to follow these rules.
pabloescabar
Thursday, March 3, 2005 4:09:00 PM
Im in constuction and that's how it sounds every day on the job site's. LOL
wvwa34
Friday, March 4, 2005 2:58:00 AM
If i started talking like that at work they would all think i was seriously ill or somthing was drasticly wrong with me!!????? THEN without using the traditional language !!!?????????? Nothing would get done!!!!!!!!!!!! MESSING WITH HR PEOPLES MINDS PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!
stlbluesaddict
Friday, March 4, 2005 6:02:00 AM
I'm gonna have to print these and reference it when the time comes. I was notified last month that I use the F bomb too much. I guess it's due to hanging out with all these Marines and Soldiers drinking beer and playing poker. LMAO!
pabloescabar
Friday, March 4, 2005 6:15:00 PM
poke who ?
MACS
Friday, March 4, 2005 6:19:00 PM
The second verses were tame compared to the military version.

:-)