What are some of your favorite family guy lines?

"Lie to her. Its ok to lie to women. They aren't people like us."

"You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A Pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert."

"You know those Germans; if you don't join the party, they come get you."

"Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a fat white guy who is threatened by change."

"I call it... Petoria. I was going to call it Peterland, but that gay bar by the airport took it."

"Would you mind shaving my coin purse?"

"That's ok Meg, you're what's known as a practice girl."

"Any tread left on that tire or is it like throwing a hotdog down a hallway"

Hello Sally, h-hey its Peter Griffen. Yeah, that's right, senior prom, yeah it's been a while..so listen, um, I just found out that Im retarted and um, I'm just calling to let you know that uh, you might want to get yourself tested

Too many to list. 🙂

"Your a little short for a stormtrooper"

"fine stay here you stuck up b*&(*^ "

gigiddy!

"That's what I said, Cool hhhhhWhip"

"shut the door your letting the stank out"

Cleavland while banging Brians girlfriend

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Peter Griffin: Gee, Mr. Pewterschmidt, you could use some fine strapping young men like us on your schooner.

Carter Pewterschmidt: Are you saying I'm gay?

Peter Griffin: What? Are you sure you, you, you, you don't want more seamen on, on, on your poop deck?

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I want pancakes! God, do you people understand every language except English? Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez moi pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes!

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As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feed on the flesh of the living. So we all sing Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep.

hard enough to list favorite line within a single episode, much less the whole show.

Quagmire- 'hey Peter, i just banged a black chick!'

Brian about Lois

"I'd eat her poo"

"Can I get some help from someone who did not come here on a floating door?"

"She's been scraped more times than a fisherman's knuckle"

"Hey Quagmire...isn't there an "O" in "Country?"

hey, Copernicus, why don't you navigate yourself to the back of the line with your feet and stand there with your shirt?

THIS is the hardest I've ever laughed at ANYTHING on network tv.

http://www.movieweb.com/tv/TEFaeFHGPxOVJM/HUo8euoosrEWrv 

Quagmire to Peter

"Want me to drag my sack across your face?"

Favorite? Too damned many funny lines to just pick a favorite. I do love the scene where Stewie's kicking the crap out of Brian, saying "where's my money?". Had an employee who used to play that scene from time to time, office just across the hall from mine. We'd crack up every damned time.

Lois: (Tackling Peter to the floor) ARE YOU GOING TO MEG'S PLAY TONIGHT???

Peter: Yes!

Lois: YA LIKE EATING RED CARPET?

Peter: Yes!

Lois: SAY YA LIKE EATING RED CARPET!

Peter: I like eating red carpet!

Quagmire: (Having heard this from outside while walking by - he faints) ...Giggity.

I thought I was going to pee myself when I watched that one.

"We're not evil people, horses are evil people"

"My daughter would absolutely love you"- coming from a little girl

"Never have I ever given a reach around to a monkey while singing the star spangled banner"

"Dear Dairy Jackpot" - As Quagmire finds a tied up cheerleader