says to her students: "If you were courting a well

educated young girl from a prominent family and during

a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what

would you say to her?"

Mike replies "Wait a minute; I'm going for a p."

The teacher says: "That would be very rude and

improper on your part."

Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the

toilet, I'll be back in a minute."

The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention

the word 'toilet' during a meal, is unpleasant."

After thinking for a minute, Billy says: "My dear,

please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake

hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able

to introduce to you after dinner. "

Now, if i'm gettin' all ghetto...

I gotta drain my main vein.

I gotta tap a kidney.

I gotta leak the lizard.

I needa write my name in the snow.

And if I gotta take a dump... I can either say that I gotta take a dump, or say:

I'm puttin' a couple of Junior Officers on Sea duty.

or taking the kids to the pool

parking your breakfast

making an entry into the ships log

going to promote a corporal

and why is it everyone says they are going to "Take a crap"

wouldn't it be better to leave one in there

and do ya know where it came from?

Growing a tail.

"Well don't take mine, the weekends coming up and I only got two left."

and do ya know where it came from?

Throw the man a bone.

OK, EI, please give us the origin of that expression.

Charlie

According to local legend, the phrase "Went down to the river to take a crap and the hogs ate him" came from East Vandergrift, PA.

and then there was the song (cleaned up a bit)By the Stanley Brothers

http://sniff.numachi.com/~rickheit/dtrad/pages/tiHOGSATEM.html 

Squat a grumpy.

I gotta launch an a$$ rocket.