2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A DOG, YOU IDIOT! It's what I do!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.

Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo-hoooooooo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain!

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip," then acting

surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.

sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here!

You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

No litterbox, no poop to clean up.

that's priceless!

I've been on the fence for a while about buying my daughter a dog or a cat... Not sure which way you swayed me, yet:-)

Life Lessons Learned from a Dog

If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.

Don't go out without ID.

Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.

Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.

Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.

Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is effective.

When you do something wrong, always take responsibility

(as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).

If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.