Some things in life are bad,

They can really make you mad.

Other things just make you swear and curse.

When you're chewing on life's gristle,

Don't grumble, give a wistle!

And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...

Spectator I: I think it was "Blessed are the cheesemakers".

Mrs. Gregory: Aha, what's so special about the cheesemakers?

Gregory: Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

Mrs. Big Nose: [trying to hear Jesus' sermon on the mount] Oh, it's blessed are the MEEK! Oh, I'm glad they're getting something, they have a hell of a time.

Reg: What Jesus fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem.

*whistling*

If life seems jolly rotten

There's something you've forgotten

And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.

When you're feeling in the dumps

Don't be silly chumps

Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...

(other start to join in)

Always look on the bright side of life...

(whistle)

For life is quite absurd,

And death's the final word.

You must always face the curtain with a bow!

Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin,

Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!