With fathers day approaching I wanted to share this. 2 weeks ago today I lost my father, its been one of, if not THE most trying experience I've ever been through.

I'm young, 20, my father was 47, I did not see this coming, and sadly no-one ever expects this sort of thing. I don't know what he died from, coroners report will take 6 weeks but I supsect some sort of unannounced kindey failure. The first few days were a shock, then it sank in. I realized how much he cared for me when I cleaned out his apartment, now I just want to go back and give him a hug. My whole life I looked down on him, I picked on his negative traits instead of his positives, not really seeing how much he loved me. Its only been apparent now that he's gone, his neighbors will walk up having never met me, and its like they know my whole life... apparently because I was all my father ever talked about.

Its been two weeks since I visited this site, and I haven't found the time for a smoke, but I'm about too. I realized that its the subtle pleasures in life, the things that come and go on a whim, that are most precious. I've been busy struggling to make ends meet, close his bills, deal with his stuff, he left no will or life insurance. I'm dealing with my extended family, who all have differing opinions on what he would want, since nothing was expressed while he was with us. I posted this on another message board when he died, to much greater length, but in short...

Tell your loved ones you love them. Give your wife a kiss, and squeeze your kids extra hard when you hug them tonight. I think this should hit a little closer to home on here, as I'm guessing many here are around my fathers age, and with fathers day approaching do something my father never did, but now I know he meant.... Tell you family you love them.

And tonight I ask you guys, when you light up a stick, light it up for my father. He was never a big smoker, but he would never turn down a stick either.

tom

Very sorry for your loss R6. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Dan

Tom,

Please accept my condolences on your loss. We should listen to your advise and make sure our love one's know how we feel.

Best Wishes,

LJCHAD

R6,

I am sorry for the loss of your father. You really have some great insight there. Well beyond your 20 years.

I puts daily "problems" into perspective.

Wish I had the right words to help you, but I don't know what those words are. My thoughts are with you.

Russ

tom, I lost my Dad 25 years ago when i was 15. I can't tell you that feeling goes away but it get better with Time. Remember you have two shots at a Father and Son relationship, once as each. Take care and God bless. I'm smoking my best stick tonight for him! Bill

Tom,

Sorry to hear of your loss.... lost my dad in 89. Someday you will have a child of your own and it sounds like you have a good example to build on. Just give thanks everyday that you had a dad that really loved you.

John

Tom-

Sorry to hear about the loss of your father recently. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Your story is very sad and touching at the same time.

It really brings up feelings in me about my own dad. He is alive, but gone in a way. He has alzheimers and hasnt recognized me for probably 5 yrs now.

He was a great dad and did tell me he loved me all the time. I miss him a lot.

I will smoke a good one in honor of your dad tonight. I'm deeply sorry about your loss.

God bless you and your family...

Tom... Very well said!!!

It's to late this evening for me to attempt smoking a cigar But I will have a fine cigar tomorrow AM in memory of your father and mine also...

On a side note, you say he never left anything behind like a will or anything? many times if your Loved ones had a Bible or books they favored.. one can thumb through the pages and find notes and such left behind??

My Dad passed in 2001 and every fathers day has been hard to deal with since...

God Bless!!!

Hog

R6Rider

i am very sorry for your loss. i will keep you and your dad in my thoughts.

My most sincere condolences. My dad (mom 2) is still with us, and I feel blessed by that every day (maybe not so much Tank) but Tank had lost both his parents by the time he was 17. When we talk of them now, he says that he misses them more now than when they had just passed. I hope things get easier for you, and that you can find peace in your heart. Maybe use your cigar time to remember when you were close.

We will be thinking of you.

Deb

aka Mrs.Tank

My condolences for your loss. The next cigar I light will be in honor of your father.

Stefan

As you've already realized, this is a great place to express your feelings.

I am sorry to hear about your loss. Be thankful that you've come to recognize how your father really felt, and be proud of that always.

My next smoke is in his honor.

I already lost a step-dad, and my mom and dad are both getting up there in years. We all have to go through it at least twice, but the main thing is don't repeat their supposed 'mistakes.' My step-dad raised me, and we were never very close, but every once in a while I'll hear his words come out of my mouth, and it freaks me out.

Condolences, Bro'.

Tomorrow I will take a walk in the park and bring with me a good cigar to smoke for your father and family.

This also gives me thought that it is well overdue for me to visit my dad.

R6, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My Dad and I have a wonderful relationship, He's my best friend. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. My prayers are with you and your family. I'm smoke one in his honor tonight.

k9

I lost my dad back in December so this will be my first Father's Day without my dad and I miss him.

I have three little ones and I hope I am half the father my dad was.

I will have a good smoke for both our Fathers this weekend.

Take Care my friend,

John

My condolences go out to you. This was really a great post and I'm glad you shared this with us. I will be extra loving to my father from now on, even when he does annoying things. My dad is really great though, his way of saying hi to me is "I love you son!" Every day a couple times a day, it's really great. I hope you can hear your father say the same thing to you know and it looks to me like you can.

I will pray for the repose of your father and smoke a good cigar in his honor.

God bless you,

Rodnie Matute

Tom,

My heart felt prayers and thougths go out to you and your family.

Great advise from a young man in which we should all heed for you never know when it is time to punch your ticket.

Gary

Tom,

My condolences on your loss. You certinely do have some great insite in regard to family. The loss doesn't really go away, but it does get better over time. Remember to think about the good times that you had with your father, that will help I think.

I lost my dad in '82 when I was stationed at Ft. Benning, GA. I was unable to leave to go to CA to be with my Step-Mother or go to the funeral because the movers were coming the day after I was notified to move us to Ft. Riley, KS. I was hit pretty hard.

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers, & I will smoke a nice stick in memory of your dad.

Neal