"I read today that Star Wars made 58 million dollars in one day. That broke the previous record set by Tom DeLay." --Jay Leno
"I'm wearing tonight my new Saddam Hussein underpants. Talk about your weapon of mass destruction." --David Letterman
"This just in: People magazine has just named Saddam Hussein sexiest man alive." --David Letterman
"Saddam Hussein in his underpants -- finally some quality pornography for women, everything you need right there." --David Letterman
"People in the Middle East are still angry about the picture. They said how would we like it if our leader was caught without his pants on? Uh, been there done that." --Jay Leno
"It was so hot today ... Saddam Hussein was walking around wearing a thong." --Jay Leno
"The tabloid newspaper in England that published the picture of Saddam in his underwear ... issued an apology. They said Saddam? We thought it was Camilla." --Jay Leno
"Everyone is making a big deal about this picture. I don't know what the big deal is. I saw it two weeks ago when he put it on Match.com." --Jay Leno
"The FBI said today that the hand grenade that was thrown near President Bush was real and could have exploded. You know what that means? This was the closest Bush has ever come to finding weapons of mass destruction." --Jay Leno
