Sonny, first off - welcome back. It's been awhile, eh?
There's no way I can make you undertand what's going on. Same goes if the tables were reversed. Hence, "And a partridge in a pear tree..." What if I wanted a chicken in a banana tree?
Now as for the second day of Christmas... Why two turtle doves? Aren't doves a bird of peace? You put two together, you get twice as much peace? That just upset the Yin/Yang balance. There's gonna be chaos.
Third day... three french hens??? I want three french fries! If I'm eating a partridge and a couple of doves, I gotta have starch on side, not a few more phukin' birds.
Fourth day... four calling birds? How 'bout some collard greens? That's more like it.
Fifth day... five golden rings? 'Bout time we got some bling bling up in this bitch!
This is my skewed logic. You like?